What day is it?

I have the cold BACK with a vengeance, I woke up today with a big spot inside my nose and my head feels like a fucking evil squirrel lives there and is trying pick its way out with a toffee hammer. Why?

We got the new quilt today and I am not sure I like it and throwing out my old one was sadder than normal…I am mental? Maybe.

Ashley and I are writing some sketches for BBC and the fun we are having is way too much, husband sat there listening to us both whilst tutting as some of the sketches bordered on totally politically incorrectness and plain evilness…well they did want them dark.

Ashley’s funny voices and character role play makes me laugh till my nose spot bleeds. She really is truly mental and funny, fuck I am glad she has my humour and his height.

I am off to London on Monday to do the photo shoot for Red Magazine and I am hoping, spotty-ness and fatness can disappear over a weekend. Is it just me or is the television deluged by adverts for anti wrinkle skin cream? I am a wrinkly old whore and cannot shift any of them and each day brings more and more to the canvas of my fat face.

So I will be fat spotty woman in the magazine, I also got the brochure for the Merchant City Festival where I am performing my one woman show and they have me billed as JANE GODLEY…the fucking name police hate Janey and keep dropping the Y…why?

Saw on the Scottish news that Lord Watson has been charged with setting fire to curtains in a hotel and his political career is OVER. I remember when I used to give him the shops next door to my pub back in the 80’s as his Labour Party Head quarters; maybe his stay in Glasgow’s Calton district turned him into a fire starter? What the fuck makes a man in some sort of power set fire to a hotel? He was caught on camera doing it!!

I watched with horror at the news, all those poor people in New Orleans struggling under all that water, dead people floating about and children starving and dying slowly under dehydration and burning sunshine. I sat there listening to that fuckwit Bush complaining about the looters, he actually mentioned people were stealing gas at the gas pumps. Maybe he will kill them for oil as well. I mean for fucks sake, if my child was dying of starvation I would break into any shop to get her water and food. I am sure there are people robbing a few shops, but where the fucks are they going to sell those goods? Come on they are looting shops for dry clothes and water, medication and food.
I watched the news and was appalled to hear that before the hurricane came the buses provided to take people from the city were CHARGING the folks…these are poor people.
I cannot be the only person who assumes that Bush would be happy that the poor die and the city needs rebuilding, how much would that generate an economy?

Ok rant over, I am off to stab my BUSH doll in the eye with a blunt stick.