So I have been well behaved since the ‘Mother went mental call the institution’ episode on Friday night. Thanks to all from Ohio, Montreal, Johannesburg, New York, Jamaica and England who emailed me with decent marital advice, I thank you all.
Sat today and read the fashion supplement of my favourite Sunday newspaper. I quickly realised how ‘OUT OF FASHION’ I am actually. There are tiny waspish looking women in fine Balenciaga frocks, slinky bent bodies clad in white on white stiff fabric that would immediately make me look like a small lollipoplady/fishmarket attendee. This new look that requires the wearer to be bound tightly into ‘Russian type’ military style great coats do not take into account women who have bulging hips and over blown breasts, they make me feel like I have been strapped into a strait jacket (after last weeks episode, this may be a blessing).
Who are these women who pay £400 for a handbag? I cannot imagine coming home, clad in a dark serge buttoned up jacket with ‘gypsy’ trim, a full flowing skirt and hobnail boots shouting to husband “Darling come quick and admire my Chloe handbag, it was only £400 and was on a waiting list, but I got mine before everyone else”. Trust me; he would institutionalise me on the spot.
Life is expensive enough and I am so very proud to report that my daughter Ashley is a cheapskate like her father. She would rather die than spend more than £15 on a top. She can get a full autumn wardrobe for £50-£60 from PRIMARK. That would include, bag, shoes, accessories and a vast amount of clothes…do you know who long it takes to shop for £60 worth of clothes at PRIMARK? An age is the answer, when most items average at £7.
She is tall and slim, she could wear an egg box as a hat, a potato sack as a dress and pigs feet as shoes and still look sensational. Trust me….she doesn’t but I am trying to make a valid point about, being young and sexy is easier to dress!
I am excited for Ashley she starts university tomorrow and it’s a big day for us all. I will let you all know how it goes!
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