Thursday, October 09, 2014

Booking a Comedy Club...hence am a promoter!

Wild Cabaret is a stunning venue in Glasgow's Merchant city.

Not your usual comedy venue that boasts a dark cellar and angry hipster barman whose girlfriend looks like a Govan version of Uma Thurman and they argue every time you try to introduce a nervous new comedian or he decides his 'mates band' are playing that night, just when you get a decent following.

The carpet doesn't smell weirdly of a deep clean from folk in hazmat suits or even stick to your feet and they have more than an angle poise lamp to light up the stage.....and you get paid in cash on the night! Weird eh?

What is going on with all this professionalism Godley? I hear you ask.

Well Glasgow boasts great comedy nights and there should be sticky carpets and angry barmen and weird lighting, that's how comedy works as well, trust me, it's where I learned my stripes playing.

But Wild Cabaret in Candleriggs is a bona fide cabaret venue with proper posh food and waiters who walk about so well dressed I constantly think they own the joint and keep suggesting new ideas about comedy to their confused faces as they try to take orders. They ignore me and smile. Bless them. I love the place.

It can be a hard thing introducing comedy to folk who are trying to order truffle laden ox blood marrow boned sausages. You are trying to explain a story about mild near death masturbation as they whisper "medium rare please" but we are getting there.

Am joking about the sausages but not about the masturbation joke as there is a white rope above the stage for those folk who dress like cats and do cabaret at the weekend, which I am assured is awesome and it keeps triggering my joke about men who choke themselves during a 'pleasure session'. Some people laugh.

Some Thursday's it's full other times it's not as busy, but we are getting a good solid crowd and it's my job to programme it and am rubbish at that part. I don't mean we haven't had good comics but I wake up at 4am in tangled sheet panicking that I haven't booked any acts that week and so grab my phone and check again and again.

Scottish comics have emailed me suggesting their availability and I forget to put them into a file to get back to them, so now people think I don't like them and you know how well liked I am to begin with, it's a vicious circle.

I am trying to make sure I get everyone on, the pay isn't stunning but at least in these climes of comedy clubs being crap at paying people, you get cash on the night.

I forget every week to announce the line up on social media and then I remember and hastily send it out 500 times just to make sure am annoying people all over the world as well as at home.

The owner of the club is brilliant and takes on board all the suggestions I come up with and even has posters of my giant face around the city centre on bill boards. 

The staff are fabulous and move between the tables like members of the CIA taking orders and rarely shake a cocktail when folk are onstage, in fact one barman shakes his thing in the side kitchen for convenience and often makes cocktails in there as well (BOOM BOOM).

We have awesome deals on like the £15 (was £30) two course meal with a glass of wine AND comedy ticket for Thursday nights. That's a cracking deal eh? If you just want comedy its £8 and you sit on beautiful seats or in a stunning booth!

There are no sight line problems and the toilets are fabulous and don't double up as the acts room, we have a great green room back stage with our own loo.

The problem is, trying to merge posh food and a beautiful room with stand up...they can be weird bedfellows but I don't see why it can't happen.

Why does comedy club food have to be fried and flung at you with cheap cutlery and plastic glasses?

Why can't we eat salmon mousse from beautiful plates and drink from crystal glasses and still laugh?

We will and we ARE! So come down to Wild Cabaret JUST COMEDY on a Thursday night, you will see half price offers on facebook and twitter.

I will be the frazzled panicky woman staring at a white rope above the stage trying to avoid a strangly wank joke.
So thanks for reading, if you want follow me on twitter @JaneyGodley for updates and daily shenanigans.

Sorry my blog's have been less regular than promised...been hectic.

Thursday, September 11, 2014


Picture the scene, I walk out of a gig at Edinburgh fringe, it's raining and am laughing and saying goodbye to some folks and I get straight into a cab as someone shouts "Loved the show Janey" and the taxi driver asks "Are you a comedian?" I reply quite proudly "Yes I am" and I forgot in my elation that I usually don't speak about comedy in taxi's as I know what he is going to say next...I forgot and before I could think another thing I heard him say the inevitable "Do you swear?".

I have my stock answer "I don't swear anymore than the male comics or less than the local priest".

That usually makes them look into their mirror and then I hear him say "Ah...your one of those feminist women" as if the only way I could possibly answer them back is because I have a political agenda and some buckwheat sandals that I wear as I breastfeed foundlings on my lactating pendulous braless titties.

"No more a feminist than most of the male comics but usually more than the local priest, have you ever asked a male comic if he swears?" I add and hopefully this will end this painfully awkward corner we have talked our way into.

I just pull on my headphones (always great to get out of these situations) and nod to music as he mouths some shit I cannot hear but his eyebrows look knotted and angry.

I don't know why 'swearing' is something that female's have to be told not to do. Is it really that bad? Has anyone ever really hated Kevin Bridges, Frankie Boyle and Billy Connolly's language onstage to the point where they discuss with a pursed mouth?

Dara O'Briain says the word 'Feck' live on television, we all know it means 'fuck' does Dara get belittled for being an uneducated ill-informed swearer? No, he doesn't he is one of Ireland's most intelligent funny men.

So it is a class issue? I have seen very well spoken middle class English women swear in comedy and somehow it is more acceptable, especially if said by 'apparent slip of the tongue' or by the medium of a 'puppet' (see Nina Conti's filthy mouthed Monkey).

Does my swearing sound worse because I am a working class Scottish woman?

If I was a Oxbridge graduate swearing onstage would it be seen as 'urban and gritty' like a hipster getting angry at a flat tyre but in my accent does it sound really harsh and filthy and all you hear is a slovenly washer woman taking us back years with her filthy language?

Recently I attended a "Vote Yes" event for Scottish creative's.

All lovely people, authors, musicians in a Glasgow basement.

The male author swore, the musician had some choice language in his songs and not a word was spoken, but the female (who spouts the values a gender equality independence group) got up to introduce me she told the audience...

"Next up is comedian Janey Godley, she might use offensive language so if you are easily offended, please bear this in mind".

I walked to the stage so angry. I know she didn't do it to hurt me but despite being part of a gender equality group she was hardwired to apologise for a woman before that woman spoke. She never apologised after the men onstage swore. I never got that chance. The audience were told I was probably going to be offensive.

One day this will end.

So thanks for reading, if you want follow me on twitter @JaneyGodley for updates and daily shenanigans.

Friday, August 29, 2014

Janey Godley’s Podcast Episode 215

(Please be aware that this Podcast Contains strong language)

In episode 215 of Janey Godley's podcast, the comedy duo are a day late and Ashley is so hoarse of the throat she can hardly speak. Janey discusses her choice to support the YES campaign and they both talk about the awful patronising Better Together advert that made them change their mind.

Ashley debates the US gun laws as a child shoots an instructor with a machine gun. The news that Ashley's radio pilot is broadcast on Monday 1st September on BBC Radio Scotland is met with much delight.

Mother and Daughter comedy team get to natter and the world gets to hear it on Janey Godley’s podcasts, expect some bawdy language and home truths, as Janey Godley and Ashley Storrie lead you down the roads less taken in their fantastic weekly podcast. Listen as mother and daughter banter, bait and burst with laughter.

Janey Godley Podcast at: Episode 215

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