Sunday, September 11, 2005

Vomits and Lakeside Beauty!

Sorry I am late with this, my PC ran out of internet time in the hotel in Leeds and at £15 a pop, I refused to pay! Anyway on Friday night after the gig, husband and I went for a late night stroll down to the canal (he had seen it and thought it would be nice for me to see it too, as I had complained about how shit Leeds was).

So there we were walking in the warm balmy-ness of the late summer night and suddenly I felt slightly nauseous, then I felt extremely fucking sick and stood over a brick wall and projectile vomited up the entire contents of my stomach. Aspergic husband was meanwhile giving me a running commentary of the buildings names behind me “Oh look that’s called the Medical Project and your medically projecting your sick” he giggled as I struggled to stop the rush of vile bile splattering over my unruly badger trap hair.

I stood there horrified at my own shame, being so sick on the neatly cut lawn beside the canal, I saw cars going by with drivers shaking their heads at my vomiting expertise. Wish the fucking place hadn’t been so well lit!

Strangely the walk back to the hotel made me feel better than I dared to imagine!

The next morning Jeff Innocent (Lovely London comic who was on the same gig as myself) husband and I went for a long walk down the canal (nowhere near my regular vomiting patch). The walk became amazing; there were spectacular long boats and friendly wee people shouting out hello, there was a strange ileostomy kit lying discarded beneath a bridge! (Ileostomy is procedure that links the bowels to an artificial kit outside the body), we all speculated on the primal reason for the entire kit being there beside ancient stone capstans that sit stoically on the docks…that took up some of our free time, I can tell you.

We then walked on with images of bowel kits in our minds and came upon a cracking old Museum that used to be a real Northern Mill. Jeff and I were particularly excited because it mentioned a ‘Puffer’ train, so we hurried around the back to be confronted by a one engine unit that merely huffed and puffed up a short ten foot track and ‘PUFFED’ it’s wee hooter and went back down. We really thought we were going on a steam train…how fucking disappointing. I suggested going back for the Ileostomy kit and fitting it onto the steam train driver man, but that was considered cruel and unjust!

The museum was really interesting and then we went for coffee and some lunch. The gigs all went fine and dandy.

So today we set off home and stopped off in the Lake District. It was so very beautiful and the sun was bearing down, what I did not expect was to see so many Oriental visitors, the place was so packed with them and most were heading to the Beatrix Potter house, she must be really famous and popular with people from the East! I found it really enchanting to see so many people from so far away so interested in that form of literature! Good on old Beatrix! She can till pack ‘em in!

We wandered all over Lake Windermere and then we went onto Ullswater and Pooley Bridge, honestly it so nice and peaceful, the flowers that surround the place are breathtaking. So I am finally home and tomorrow I go for breast scan. I will let you all know how it goes.

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