Today I found this site with singing Cats on click Here. It makes me piss myself laughing every time I see it! Today was better than yesterday health wise, my sore throat has calmed down due to the influx of hardcore anti-biotics that are probably killing me in a different way as I speak. I hate anti-biotics but I had to take something to get rid of the virus. I was going to try Chinese medicine that is so favoured here in the West, there are six Chinese herbal shops in my road, but until they can cure gambling and superstition, I am not going to trust them.
Was reading in the newspaper today that the ‘Clicking fingers advert for Make Poverty History’ was banned by OFCOM as it represents a political belief that they disallow to be broadcast on National TV. I hate OFcom; they said the goals of the campaign were political and therefore outlawed. Early this year Ofcom said I said the ‘C’ word or lets be adults here the word ‘Cunt’ on a TV programme ‘Kings Of Comedy’ that I was involved in that was screened on Channel 4, anyway after they released their findings and PRINTING them Nationally and on various media websites, it turns out IT WASN’T ME WHO SAID IT and I now have a government document of apology!
HAHAHA! The bastards! Funnily enough CUNT was the word I called them when they accused me of saying it, but not on live TV!
Was up the Byres road here in Glasgow today, I saw all the new freshers walking around getting used to their new University city. Glasgow University is literally streets away from me, it really is an awesome building dating back to the 16th century and beautiful to look at. Did wonder how all those parents felt leaving their kids behind in this sprawling city, am glad my daughter is going to local Uni and she can still stay at home, I know that is slightly selfish, but she already has all the freedom she needs and doesn’t have to pay a huge rent for some skanky flat where she doesn’t have en-suite bathroom and on call chauffeur and waitress service (her father).
To think I was married at her age! Doesn’t bear thinking about does it? What was I thinking of? I must have had a stroke at 18 and never really recovered.
Here are few things I have discovered at my age. I am 44 yet I feel the strange need to learn to skateboard and surf. My knickers hurt me because I am getting fat, my hair is growing grey and the grey bits grow faster than the not grey bits, my boobs are desperate to sit comfortably on my flabby belly that rest happily on my thighs, my eyes are crinkly and when I look in the mirror I can see where the crows danced happily around my eyes whilst I slept and my double chin is threatening to become a permanent feature of my overall look. Yet I really want to wear a slinky dress and dance to rap as I know all the words to Eminem. Who am I and when did I get this old? It must have happened in-between listening to Crowded House in the 1980’s and last week when I heard myself saying in the supermarket “Mmm…tights that stop varicous veins and yet look fashionable”. So that’s the point I got old…right there in that moment. Oh dear. I really still check young guys ass’s out and imagine flirting with them and having to refuse their sexual advances as I am married thank you very much. The only reason young hot guys stop me in the street is to ask me where the University is as I look a safe old nice lady in Glasgow.
So I have decided to lose weight, get new white teeth done, get toned and look sexual and fit. That will please me no end, Desperate Housewives may yearn for the sexual prowess of hot pool guys, I just want my tits to stop sitting on my tummy. That will make me happy.