Posh lunch and being 'Glassed'

I had to get up at 7am yesterday, I havent done 'MORNING' in a long time. I felt shattered as i had only ben home half a day and had to unpack and re-pack for London. Anyway i got up and showered and stood there at 7.30am blowdrying my fiercesome locks, trying to tame them into some form of admission.

I got to the airport on to the flight for London (sat beside Leo Sayer, and giggled at his hair) finally arrived in Heathrow and got changed into my 'nice clothes' and smart new handbag for lunch with Observer Journalist.

I was taken straight to Charlotte Street Hotel (Very very Fancy). As soon as I walked in the handle came off my trendy trolly case and clattered to the floor, breaking the serene hushed tones of the posh domain.

A famous actor looked over his dark glasses at me and smiled.

me-"I have broke my case! Shit..oooops sorry"

Big handsome concierge-"Thats ok madam a screw will fix it"

me(eyeing up sexy tall blonde boy)-"Yes I know, always does"

Big actor guffawed and gave me a big applause-"Well said"

I was whisked through to the noisey restaurant crammed with familiar faces from TV and big Screen and the media world in general. Immediately I felt self concious, I always get this rush of confidence then crashing waves of self doubt when surrounded by famous talented people. My clothes felt awkward, my shoes felt clumpy and I wanted to hide.

But I kept my chin up and whispered to myself 'Chin up, Janey keep your chin up' as I tend to drop my head and hide behind my hair when I get nervous-( I know this as I watched myself on Kings of Comedy).

The lovely journalist came in and we shook hands and sat down to pick from the huge menu, she chatted on about how she loved the book and the waiter approached slipped almost stabbed me in the face with a big wine glass, he crushed it against the pillar beside me- it shattered and the shards covered my legs and table, there was glass in hair, in my clothes and even in the inside of my shoe!

Nice-made me think i was back in Glasgow.

The table was cleared, cleaned and apologies were thrown over us like a picnic blanket of sorry-ness, people watched and whispered, the famous actor from the foyer leaned over and laughed "What have you broken now?"

Me-"That was not me, for a change someone else broke something, but I think my laughter has broken the head waiter's spirit!"

Actor man smiled at me and I laughed back, i was ok, these people did not know I was Janey from 'Shettleston', they had no idea I was not as confident as I appeared, but then I am a good actor!

The interview and photo shoot lasted a while and the journalist was really warm and nice, we chatted about lots of stuff including my stand up and the play, so a good all round interview.

I was glad husband made me wash my hair as the photo shoot was very up close and personal, I hope my chin is up in the pictures!

I am sitting in an internet shop in Chelsea, need to go and catch a flight home to the people who love me -even if i am Janey from Shettleston!