Wednesday, November 02, 2005

Things I fucking Hate…

Restaurants who serve pate but not enough bread to eat it with, you are left with a blob of meaty paste or you have to BUY a serving of bread! This happened to me tonight in Beanscene, that awful company that keeps banging on about their ‘morals and customers rights’ fucking 60 pence for two wee slices of tough chewy bread. I smiled and refused to buy the bread, went into the garage shop next door and bought a freshly baked roll for 22 pence and ate the pate with that instead. Man in Beanscene despises me now.

Magazines who take photos of you but refuse to give you copies, no wonder the Native American Indians were convinced photography was stealing their soul! How hard is it to give me ONE photo of my fucking self?

Cold callers who interrupt my sex life to ask me if I am interested in kitchens as there is a representative in my area, then get upset when I threaten to harm their family as ‘I KNOW WHERE YOU LIVE BITCH’ is screamed at them…surely if they never got an education and spend their days calling people about kitchens-they should expect some abuse or at the very least know that people like me will make their spirit weak?

Skinny girls who say ‘I am having a fat day’ and refuse a pastry, opting for a glass of ‘warm water and a slice of lemon’.

Companies who somehow get your mobile number and inundate you with text messages telling you ‘Come the best party in town’ shit or advertise their latest mobile phones…whilst you already OWN a phone???

Comedy Clubs who refuse to book you in on a gig at a certain weekend as they ‘Already have a Scottish person or woman’ on that night and explain to you that they don’t want repetition! Despite the fact they have FOUR English boys on that night…how repetitive is that? Would two or more women overwhelm and audience with the stench of oestrogen or would more than two Scottish people be enough to start a revolution and swamp the people with tartan?

That’s enough hate for one night!

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