high security

I was told that there is a big internet cafe underground in a place called Millbank, just round the corner from the flat. When I got here that first night and my internet connection would not work I asked around and was told to go to Millbank.

So there I was all sweaty, tired and carrying my laptop making my way to that huge grey building behind our flats.

I must admit the building did look a bit imposing for an internet cafe ...but I was desperate and needed to get online. So I marched in and was immediately approached by a big tall man in security uniform.

"Yes, may I help you?" He barked at me.

"Do you have an internet connection in here I can use?" I sharply replied.

"No, this is not an internet cafe" he answered.

"I was told it was, come on, I need to get online" I groaned.

"Look I dont think you understand what i am saying, we do have internet but not for customers or people coming off the street" He started to get angry.

"Oh fuck off, what do you think I am going to download? The terrorist guide to London?" I snapped back sarcastically.

"Ok leave now, take your laptop and leave now, do you know where you are?" he stood over me.

"Yes. I am in London facing a nasty man who will not let me use his internet" I smiled, hoping to charm him.

"You are in the MI5 government building and if you insist in being obstinate I will have to take you aside and caution you and charge you" He smirked.

"MI5? please tell me, has anyone confused it with MFI? Just for a laugh tell me?"

"NO. Never now take your stuff and go" he led me by the elbow.

Oh well nasty old fucker and his big MI5 building can go kiss my bumpy ass, I got internet connection.