Thursday, June 09, 2005

First night and fear

I spent the whole day yesterday in a flummox. It was my opening night at Soho Theatre and the show had sold out! I was shitting a brick. What if I forgot all my lines? What if I just died on my ass? I was scared.

I sat on the bus going into Soho early and was so engrossed reading my script that I ignored a bit fat old lady who needed my seat and as I stood to get up, lots of people glared at me for my unfeeling selfishness. I decided right there and then to limp off the bus, I would make them think I had a bad injured leg and thats why I took up the disabled seating!

So i practised being the drug addled woman in my play and dragged my leg off the bus (that would make all thoses judgemental bastards rethink their hate for me).

As I struggled with my 'bad leg' to get off, the big fat old lady waddled off with me FUCKSAKE I would have to limp all the way up Shaftsbury Avenue....So I did. The fat woman kept up with me and I limped and struggled and staggered then i slowly morphed into the drug addict I play in the show and managed to frighten 30 American tourists by shouting at them in a drug slurred fashion "You are all fat bastards, you kill children for oil!" I sloped off and stumbled about the streets in character and then a real drug addict stopped me for a ciggie.

I looked at him and felt terrible, I was 'playing' a drug addict, I didnt really have the struggles he has and I was ashamed of even playing one in a West End Show.

Lesson learned, I sat in Soho Square with my family going over andf over my lines. The show was packed there was no air in that room and my first night went well. I fluffed a few lines but managed to fix that or even hide it.

Nadine is a great director and I am so chuffed to be working with her. First night over...onwards and upwards.

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