( a true excerpt from this day April 21st 1979)

hursday the 21st of April 2005
11:24:51 PM my diary years ago ( a true excerpt from this day April 21st 1979)

I went to the drawer under my bed to get out an old photo frame as I have new pictures to put up. As I dragged the huge heavy drawer out, I noticed a familiar dark purple cover with gold letters on 'Letts Diary 1979' I couldn't stop the smile from spreading over my face, I remember sitting in my mum's house at aged eighteen (the year I met my husband).

here is the entry for today......

I hope that shitey song Bright Eyes is not number one this Sunday, I fucking hate it, some shit song about a rabbit, load of pish. I want Squeeze singing 'cool for cats' to be the number one. Cats are better than rabbits any day, i could kill a rabbit but not a cat, I killed my cousins rabbit a few years ago but that was an accident, I would not kill a rabbit deliberately.

They keep playing the 'rabbit song' in the Palaceum (this is the bar I worked in at weekends and where I met my husband). The boyfriend is now the fiance as we got engaged on Tuesday 17th April. He took me round to the beer barrels at the side of the bar and I sat there waiting to see why he was so excited, he gave me this wee box and in it is a beautiful gold ring with a diamond. It's called a solitaire. I can't believe I have a diamond.

I showed it to my mammy and she said it was nice and she thinks he is good for me. I went over to Peter's to see her, I hate his house. it's really really clean and frightens me a wee bit, he looks at me funny and she talks shite when he is there, it's like she doesn't talk like she always does and he makes snide faces at her when I laugh at him for something. He knows I know he is a cunt, I wish that wee bastard was dead. I can see a big punch mark on her arm and she said it wasn't Peter it was when she fell drunk.

I bought a beige dress and it looks ok with my black shoes.

I laughed reading it and felt sad inside, I remember writing that passage. I remember my mum as I wrote that part of the diary. Her boyfriend Peter had been beating her up and all this came out eventually.

Oh well, I started this as a happy thing and it ended up quite sad didn't it?

sorry.