Friday, April 08, 2005

Scabby dog and snooker balls

Was a great sunny day, then it snowed! Yes sunshine and snow…we are all gonna DIE!
Went out to meet Jeanette, she was my best pal at school when we were five. We met up again recently after about 27 years and it’s as if we had never been apart. She is so easy to be with, despite the small frame and loveliness she is a wee bully! She makes me
1) Eat soup ( and I hate it)
2) Nags me about my heartburn and diet
3) Nags me about having not my diary ready to take calls and bookings (she was there today as Glastonbury was confirmed but I had wrong diary and no pen)
She has a good heart and just organises me every time we meet, like she did when we were kids! I love seeing her, I can recall how distraught I was when I realised she was leaving my school ( she moved away when we were about eight, then I met up with her at secondary school) she was my best friend and always shared her sweets and made sure I got to play games, she was like the world’s smallest social convener! She involved me in all things.
We chatted about my book and she told me she cant bear to read it, as it covers the sexual abuse I suffered as a child, the child she knew in fact. That disturbs her she told me and she cannot believe that she didn’t know it was happening and she feels bad she didn’t help at the time.
‘YOU WERE ONLY FIVE AS WELL’, I reminded her, but being Jeanette she wanted to think she could have done something, I appreciate her feeling for me but it was not her fault nor anyone else’s except the abusers fault. Its weird how sex abuse manages to spread its guilty wee tendrils out and snarl everyone in its wake, like some evil ‘Wandering Lizzie’ plant that wraps itself around bricks, mortar and everything it comes into touch with.
I assured her she didn’t have to read the book!
My pal Monica is the same, she almost throws up when she reads bits of the book that I send her for a quick opinion check.
“Janey please send me happy bits, not the dark passages, I really cant bear it, I hate to think of what that man did to you, and the way you write it, with that sinister monologue from the child as she feels that man come near her is very frightening for me” Monica said.
So there we have it, I need you all to know it is not all sad and scary, and there is a funny story about my mammy, a big scabby dog and a snooker ball. Trust me its funny.

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