Sunday, March 19, 2006

I am not pregnant!....

Ovaries remain unfertilised, womb is as barren as an empty waste paper basket and I am the happiest woman alive. I really need to sort out my ‘I think I am pregnant’ situation as I worry monthly, I will not use any invasive birth control that involves drugs or surgery, yet I get scared I am fertile and am carrying evil twins every month.
So it continues.
I did a gig last night for Glasgow Comedy festival at O’Neills on Sauchiehall Street, the crowd were chatty and in good numbers, I love live comedy.
I told them all about the ‘Owl man’ I had met during the day and they all agreed that any man who wears a green gillet, big glove and has an obsession about owls, is a man who has never has a blow job in his life. The minute that guy gets regular sex those wild birds are being thrown into mid air.
I was still laughing at the vision of that wee tiny child almost being dragged away by a big flapping owl…it must have looked like a big mouse to the bird, it tried to fly off to the woods and peck the eyes out of the girl as she stood there waiting on her photo being taken by the scary owl man. Who on earth wants a picture of their child with a flapping owl on her wrist? Weird folk is the answer to that.
“Here is a picture of our Chantalle with an owl” the deranged mother would brag as she flipped the picture out of her handbag.
I have slept most of the day being lazy and tired but was mightily cheered up to discover my website and blog were featured into the ‘Guardian Guide’ yesterday here in the UK. My blog is the focus of my new show this year at Soho Theatre and Edinburgh Fringe Show.
So I am off to enjoy the rest of my Sunday as tomorrow I am off to Edinburgh to be interviewed for a Radio show, I will download it when it has been broadcast and let you hear it if you want.

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