Stamping on cocks

Stamping on cocks….
The gig went great last night, I am so glad I finally got over that wee moment that scared me. The club was heaving and the crowd were amazing. That made me happy.

The apartment we stayed in was lovely; except the bedroom was quite small and when the curtains were shut the place was in complete utter darkness. Now I like that except when I came in from the loo at 4am, and I fingered my way back round the bed, stepping precariously over my shoes and luggage on the floor and then threw myself onto the bed – I cracked my head right off the convex wooden fancy headboard.

I thought I had broken my fucking neck, husband woke up as I screamed “What did you do?” he asked me, as If I normally make that kind of noise in the middle of the night for fun!
“I couldn’t work out how long the bed was and then I managed to batter my head off the headboard” I squealed.
“Stop it will you? I am trying to sleep Janey” He muttered.
What did he think I was doing? Beating out a drum tune with my skull?
I cannot believe he said that, this from a man who farted so loudly it made a screaming noise that reverberated off the thin tight walls that I thought a seagull was being battered to death by wooden spoon…the noise was awful and it woke me up!

All this from a man whose penis wakes up at 5am and decides to make a play for my sleeping body, despite being told for the past 25 years not to..

As he gets aroused in the middle of the night, his brain must shout to his penis- “Don’t, don’t wake her, she gets mad when you wake her, trust me I remember this shit….don’t do it, she gets all shouty and sometimes grabby, you are on your own dude…don’t wake her if you know what’s good for you”

Meanwhile his penis shouts to the brain- “I am telling you she loves me waking her up, she loves nothing more than me nudging her awake”

His brain answers-“NO…she turns into a fucking wolverine….I am the brain I remember this stuff…don’t fucking wake her up for sex, I swear it will end in tears”

Then his penis does wake me, I turn…sit up, and shout into my husbands face “What have I fucking told you about trying to wake me at 5am? I am going to stamp on your cock!” Then I go back to sleep.

The brain whispers “Told you, see… you got us into this and tomorrow she will fucking stomping about the flat in a bad mood and not make dinner and be snappy all day coz you don’t ever listen”

Penis answers-“I am sorry, I thought she would like it…she used to like that”

Brain-“Yes…when she was nineteen years old, fucksake man she is nearly 45, when are you going to learn?”

He probably won’t ever learn until I actually stamp on his cock…I hope my step mum is not reading this, if you are PLEASE don’t!

Here is some nice stuff….
On the way home today we stopped off at Barnard Market town near Scotch Corner, it’s a wee picturesque town with a big castle ruins. They views were amazing, you can see them on
http://uk.photos.yahoo.com/janeygodley/

You can see them under Nottingham and Barnard, some nice pics.
I am off to London tomorrow, so I will be in touch soon.