Old and Tired

The gig was nice last night at Nottingham Jongleurs, but as MC I felt I could have done better, that middle bit where the first act comes off and I am preparing to put the second act on, is notoriously difficult as people are moving around and going to the loo and food is being cleared...its a fucking nightmare and sometimes you feel like a supply teacher standing there trying to get their attention. It’s my fault and I should be able to get their attention...last night I felt I couldn’t get them all together.

So this morning after spending a whole night worrying that maybe I am shite at everything (the other comics assured me that it is always like that and the gig was fine and I am being too hard on myself, but I never blame an audience I always blame the comic/MC for not having enough stage presence to hold them)...anyway after that and suffering that fucked up nasty teeth bleaching shit I have on my choppers that make my teeth sore all day, I woke up to period pains! Yahooooo I love being a woman with dull teeth and a cluster bomb for a womb.

I have realised that my whole body is fucked up...my hair is going white where it should be brown, my teeth are going brown when they should be white, my underarm hair is PITCH black...yet my pubes are going beige????? Why can’t my underarm hair go white??? It’s like my body is out of 'toner'...I am a faulty printer!

Tonight the club is sold out...over 400 people, am looking forward to getting on stage.