Friday, December 16, 2005

Spies and Strange Men in suits

Its been an odd day all round, I was standing at the bus stop outside the Home Office down near my flat at Marsham Street, waiting patiently on a bus. I heard a small commotion behind me and on the grass verge outside of the Home Office; a big black man had erected a small tent, and put up peace protest notice stating that he was being harassed by the Government. I stopped to read his notice and immediately police starting mounting the grass and pulled his tent apart. The big man started shouting and I reached for my mobile phone and started taking photo’s on my camera (Which I will post soon).

Before I could even get saving them to file a few men in suits surrounded me out from nowhere! I am not joking; it was sinister to say the least. I watched as the police got the big black guy to the ground and started moving him along the grass towards the police van. I pulled out a piece of paper and shouted to the black guy “What’s your name?” he looked at me and shouted “Fredrick Kamera”. “Is that with a K, I asked?”
The man was now on the ground with the policemen on top of him and he yelled back “Yes”.

Just then, a very handsome guy in a sharp grey suit and bright yellow tie appeared at my side, he touched my arm to get my attention, I turned and he made serious eye contact “You cant take pictures of the Home Office, its against the law” He smiled and leaned towards me “Can I see your phone?”
“No fuck off, if you try to take it I will scream, take your hands off me and quit with the charm, I will stop taking photos of the office building but I will continue to take photo’s of the dude who now has a police man standing on his neck” I sneered. I ran around to the other side and kept taking pictures, it was making the men very uncomfortable.

“What’s your name and who are you from, you know you need to stop shouting to that man and you need to stop this behaviour” Yellow tie smiley boy said.
“Fuck off, make me” I challenged him “This is a city that wont recognise Scottish Sterling as legal tender and you are telling me I have to shut up and stop being me, I have freedom of speech, what will you do? Stab my arse with a poisoned umbrella on Waterloo Bridge? You are the smallest James Bond ever, now get fucked mate or those builders across the road will witness you harassing me”

By now they were dragging Fredrick Kamera into a waiting police van. I watched and the suited man spoke again “Do you have a website?”
“Yes…why?” I asked.
“What’s it called? He continued. By now the place was crawling with office workers leaving the building who were now casually watching the fracas.
“I am not telling you shit, there will be forty cameras on me now, you look at them and work out who I am and do your job” I snapped. The black man was now in the police van and huckled away, no trace of him being on the grass existed.

“Its best if you just stop being a nuisance and move on now, that man had mental problems” the tiny James Bond spoke.
“What would happen if Jesus turned up here and stood on that ground and tried to tell the world he was here to save everyone and was appalled at the way people were treated, would you stand on his neck and throw him in a police van? You people say everyone is mentally retarded who speak out” I said.
“So you are a Christian?” he asked me.
“No I am not, I am just making a point you annoying man, look there is my bus” I ran off and caught the bus into town.

I had meetings and friends to catch up with and things to do all day…but if I suddenly drop off the radar and no longer blog…then you know what will have happened to me…the old syringe in the neck trick!
I will post the pics as soon as I work out how!

1 comment:

Teri said...

Wow...you do lead an interesting life. Sounds like mine sometimes. I wonder if leaving this post will put me at risk with the "tiny James Bond." Oh well, F.E.A. I always say. Waiting for the photos.

BTW, sometimes I feel lonely leaving these comments...but I trust you know that I am here.