Tiredness Can Kill

Murder Accusation at the End of This Blog--------------

Three hours sleep with screaming Gulls in the back ground and nightmares, one spot on my chin, one annoying breast lump, one five star review and a toe blister.


God I am so tired… and the nightmares are worse if anything. Though I am having a great time on stage and still trying to work out a way to KILL the Seagulls that scream at my window. Honestly it would be easier to kill a president than those noisy fuckers! I swear to God that if that were kids making that noise they would be served an ASBO on them, why do they big fat white pigeon killing noisy screamers make that noise and why cant the go live near the SEA? It’s in their name for fucksake!

Can you tell they are getting to me? YES!

I am thinking of buying a crossbow and sitting at my window and shooting them en masse. A Gull Cull is what we need!

Life goes on and the show is doing fine, I love being up there and yet I am worried more and more about this fucking lump, I know I shouldn’t but its hard not to.

Murder Update……..

Him-“Don’t even ask me today, I know what you want to know and I am not even going to grant that question with an answer, do you really believe I am capable of murder?”

Me-“Not sure… did you kill that man who murdered my mum?”

Him-“Do you want me to kill the Seagulls?”

Me-“So you can murder birds?”

Him-“If you really think they deserve to die”

Me-“Yes”

Him-“No… I don’t kill birds, remember that man who killed your mum killed a Swan, I don’t kill defenceless birds”

Me-“Only people then?”

Him-“Shut up and go hug a gull ya moany bitch”