Come on Eileen!

Murder Accusation update at end of blog below—

Well the doctors appointment didn’t go as well as I hoped, the breast lump IS suspicious and I have to back home next week for a biopsy, the good news is- I have no history of breast cancer in my family, so I am unlikely to have the BIG C…

The show is going great guns now, I had a lovely audience in last night and the reviews have been good (so far), got some good news from my publisher today telling me that the book is selling ever so well…HURRAH! That is good news as my daughter goes to Uni in September and I need the cash.

No more dead pigeons outside the flat, I am so fucking happy about that as it was scary indeed. The bad news is, we took our rubbish/garbage bins down to what we thought was the place to put them only to be sternly told off by a council man that came to our door two days later and who told us that we had dumped it in the wrong place! How did he know it was US?

Well it seems the black bin liners have CODES on them and they can tell from which house the rubbish bin came from! Fucking hell, that really is scary, bin bags with special codes?

They can’t catch terrorists but BIN CHEATERS! YES!
Hope they don’t find a dead body when we leave here! I will make sure there are no codes on it if I do decide to leave a cadaver in Edinburgh.

Got mistaken yesterday by a woman who thought my name was Eileen McDougal, she was convinced I was this ‘Eileen’ and conversed with me for a few minutes about our past, when we shared a house in Oxford, when we were both reading English at Uni. Apparently I married a guy called Simon and she was still married to Roger from Devon. “How were my two children doing?” She asked me. I stood and stared at her as she recalled the times we had travelling in Peru in 1983.

I decided that I liked being ‘Eileen’ and not Janey Godley, I waited until she finished telling me how both her parents still have a picture of her and I together at Sandringham with the Duke and then Duchess of York…!

It was then I told her my name is NOT Eileen and I am Janey Godley, a Scottish stand up comic and writer… the poor woman looked crestfallen and very embarrassed.

It got me thinking though, maybe if I had lived ‘Eileen’s’ life, I may have been happier…no breast lumps…no murder stories… no past that left me with nightmares…but then I would not have had MY daughter and MY husband (odd as he may be)…so today I am glad I am ME! Lumps, murder and all!

MURDER ACCUSATION UPDATE…

ME-“Did you kill that man who murdered my mammy?”

HIM-“People are looking at me oddly, are you telling people this?”

ME-“Kinda…”