Sorry I am late but I nearly died…

Murder Accusation Update at End of Blog…

So Wednesday night I ate some sushi at 7pm, then about half an hour later my body started to swell and I went into mild anaphylactic shock! I ended up in hospital wired to machines as my body started to kill me… and they injected me with various adrenaline and steroid drugs to keep me alive.

So I then made it out of the hospital and got on stage...Huraah! Life at the Fringe…I love it!!

I was so wired with adrenaline and fear that I almost climbed up onto the rig and screamed from the rafters, there was two reviewers in and I cannot even begin to imagine what they will write about that drug fuelled show… but fuck em’ I am still alive.

So I was woken up early on Thursday morning by Brendon Burns standing at my door holding a nuns outfit and told me to get into it as we were going to meet Paul Provenza flying into Edinburgh. I know what your thinking, NUNS OUTFIT? Yes… that’s what you always wear when meeting American Film Producers at an airport…what’s up with you guys?

Paul is in town for his premier of the film Aristocrats that he produced/directed. He is also a good mate and great US comic. So there we were standing at Edinburgh airport holding big cardboard signs saying GOD waiting at the arrival gate, we waited and waited…no Paul. We start to get worried he is not on the plane. Ricky Gervais came out and gave us a smile…still no Provenza, by this time we are all comedy-ed out and getting impatient. Just as we were about to disband our nun convention, Provenza sauntered out and COMPLETELY IGNORED US ALL and then turned round and laughed. It was slightly anti-climatic but fun none the less.

I then performed my own show and went onto host Funny Women, then went over to the So You think Your Funny party, I got drunk. I don’t get drunk often and for the first time in years I am on medication (steroids for the allergy) that states you cannot drink alcohol and that’s fine COZ I hardly drink…I fucking got well pissed and did not make the film premier this morning. Ashley went to the Aristocrats Movie, she loved it. Whilst she was there she met everyone who was at last nights party and was told that her mother was staggering around the party last night with two young boys dancing sexily, wrapped around a pole with a vodka bottle wedged firmly between her tits. NICE!

She has just chastised me for my debauched behaviour, I cannot wait till she goes to Uni and I can have fun, I like the dancing/sexy boys/vodka tit thing.

Murder Accusation Update…
Him-“My head hurts don’t accuse me of murder today”
Me-“Ok my head hurts as well, lets hug”