Things worry me

This flu bug I had hasn’t totally gone or I have a serious illness that’s gone undiagnosed. I am still tired a lot and feel as though I have just given birth and my body wont heal and am about to give birth again tomorrow. Have you ever felt like a small bumper car has battered off the backs of your legs for hours and then someone possibly a special person with no conscience has cracked a wooden tree branch off the top of your head? Have you ever woke up and felt as though you have been watered boarded all night in your sleep?

Now to top it all off, I have a lump underneath my armpit, it is probably just a boil or something, I don’t know but I better not die of this. To make sure I don’t die I am going to the doctor and that can be a game of mental roulette depending on which doc you get.

We have one doc who says “Mmmm, yes” over the top of you talking about your illness. So you constantly try to find a break in her making ‘MMmmm yes’ noises and slip in your symptoms and you get the feeling she is thinking about something else as you speak, that’s mostly because she is looking over your head and staring at a photo on her wall of Venice.

We have another doc who suggests menthol crystals dissolved in hot water as an answer to any ailment and we have one doctor who is cracking and listens to everything you say. I want him and he is never there. So I end up diagnosing myself on the web and that’s never a good idea.

Other than me moaning about stuff, I had some fun at the Kirkcaldy comedy festival. They put me in a venue called The Abbey, it was closing down the night after my show and by fuck didn’t it show on the staff’s face? They were giving away bits of furniture before my show which doesn’t set an ambient mood; basically it was like a warrant sale and then….comedy!

What they didn’t give away was a cup of tea, they made sure they charged me over and over for a measly cup of tea…that sounds nasty of me to mention and I don’t expect free stuff from any venue but a cup of tea would have been cool especially when they had no other booze to sell and they gave away a couch! Some venues offer the comedian a free drink once or twice but the PUB WITH NO BEER that I was at didn’t bother and I had to wait as they washed cups and boiled a kettle.

The show itself was cracking fun Kirkcaldy is a smashing town with people who love their comedy and I had just about the best show ever in front of them, thanks people of Kirkcaldy! They were nice despite having no beer and booze for the customers!



Ashley has been doing some heavy cleaning in our house; she has done the kitchen units and scrubbed down the hallway doors. I am well impressed as this is the kind of shit she hates, but I asked her and she said ‘yes’ and did it without being angry or secretly plotting my death.

Normally in our house we have to mentally torture, emotionally blackmail and violently attack each other to get the house clean….and there was the answer, just ASK ASHLEY and she would do it without fuss. OR maybe she is doing all the cleaning, then will slowly poison me (maybe that’s my illness?) and sell the house off and she and her dad will run away and live in a beach house without the grumpy fat angry woman who demands clean doors?

Or maybe she is a just helping me?

Meanwhile we are getting new podcast equipment so that the podcast sounds better and clearer and Ashley is super excited at this as she hates the microphones we have.

The podcast is getting a decent following and we made it to number eight in the comedy podcast competition! Soon we will be on Radio Scotland chatting about our podcast experience. You can check the podcast on our website or search ITunes for Janey Godley.

So am off to get my frizzy hair ready for a comedy gig tonight and hopefully I wont feel sick.