Sunday, March 09, 2008

Hectic and Fun

Life is mad at the moment. Was in Newcastle last night doing my one woman show, the crowd were so nice and really made me feel welcome. Husband and I drove down to Newcastle late afternoon and decided not to stay over as I have work today. I am doing a private gig in the afternoon and am headlining the Terrence Higgins Trust gig at Oran Mor tonight (Sunday).

Am quite tired and spotty, it’s been a busy weekend. I even wrote a guest column for the Sunday Herald about domestic abuse to highlight the issue of violence against women for International Woman’s Day today in UK.

It reads well and I am pleased with it. I love writing serious pieces for print.

I have quite an accident prone week let me tell you…

Well it was a bad mistake but I managed to Hoover over my husbands’ bare foot and ripped off his toenail, and his toes are all red and bruised. It was an accident yet he is really upset with me. I am not that used to Hoovering the carpet, it’s a new vacuum cleaner and its quiet bulky. I need to learn how to manoeuvre it without killing people I suppose.

He hopped around with blood dripping from his toenail. I tried to apologise but when people are in pain I suppose its best to laugh…or giggle. He is really annoyed with me.

I am quite accidental prone.

I once fell down the pub cellar steps.

I knocked Christmas tree on top of my baby when she was a year old.

I jammed the cat’s paws in the door.

I stuck a strong sucker from the bottom of a toy onto my baby’s forehead and it refused to come off, I managed to prise it off her tender head and it left a big blood sucker circle under her skin. I had to hide it with a hat.

I once rode my bicycle into a marathon and knocked about eight runners on the ground.

I ran onto a tube train in London and found I couldn’t stop and clattered onto a man who was in crutches.

I sprayed perfume in a beauty store by mistake and the assistant got it right in the eye.

I threw a dart in my pub and it flew off course and ended up embedded in a mans leg.

I potted a ball in my pub at the pool table, it flew off, cracked pint glass that a man was holding and cut his face.

Clumsiness runs in the family as Ashley is just as bad, she once fell off a few steps in a store and almost head butted a baby in a pram.

So that’s been my week and my madness.

2 comments:

Let's Kill Saturday Night said...

Ouch !

DOGWITHNOBRAIN said...

I cannot believe you stuck the sucker to your daughter's head!!!

I remember seeing loads of dad's coming in after a weekend with the big sucker bruises on their foreheads, but you must be the ONLY person in the world to stick it on their wean! ha ha ha ha Brilliant!