BAFTA Awards 2008, Me and Smeato

I had such a great time at this year’s BAFTA film awards on Sunday in London. I was already in London gigging at comedy, so by the time Sunday came along I was exhausted. I had a lovely dress and amazing necklace I bought at Harrods the day before, but I had to do so much on the day I was knackered.

I forgot to go into the BAFTA offices in Piccadilly to pick up the tickets- so had to wake up early on Sunday to jump the tube into town and pick them up.

I looked like a ghost. You see there had been a big drama on the Saturday night.

Here’s what happened – I called husband at 8pm on Saturday night just before I went onstage at Battersea Jongleurs. He never answered and then I called his mobile- he never answered that either…I was slightly alarmed as he is always on call.

So that whole night in-between getting acts on and off stage I was calling husband and still getting no answer.

In my mind, he was dead. Or my dad was ill and husband was with him and unable to answer a call.
Then I called Ashley- she was at a party and I didn’t want to scare her but when the clock hit 1am and I still couldn’t get hold of husband, I asked her to go home and check on him.

Poor Ashley was at a party with her mates and I had interrupted her. I was convinced my man was lying dead with a heart attack, as why else would he not answer the phone?

Then I panicked that poor Ashley would find her dead father and that would scar her for life... my imagination was working overtime.

WHY oh WHY would he not answer the phone?

Finally Ashley called “Mum, dad is fast asleep, you panicky old cow” she shouted.

So by this time it was 3am…I had such a bad night.

So Sunday comes and John Smeaton is arriving and we have to be on the red carpet by 5pm. There was so much to do.

I shaved legs, armpits and moustache and set about doing my hair nice.
Everything was all laid out and ready to go, then I had a last minute dilemma with my Scotsman column which had to be amended at the final minute to deadline (like I needed more stress on that day).

Finally John was dressed to kill in his lovely dinner suit and I was all made up and ready to hit the red carpet.

The noise of the crowds was amazing, people were screaming for their favourite film star as Harvey Keitel, Cuba Gooding Junior and Keira Knightly strutted up in front of John and me.

We were gobsmacked by the sheer event. Then some crowds recognised John Smeaton and they were shouting “Smeato” and John and I both got snapped by the paparazzi…it was odd feeling like a celeb for three seconds!

The show was amazing and afterwards John was introduced to James McAvoy, the Scottish actor who was up for a BAFTA award for his starring role in Atonement.

We also met Viggo Mortgensen, Cuba Gooding Junior, Andy Serkis and many more stars on the night.

John Smeaton was such a lovely guest to have at the party and we had a great time, but my feet were killing me in those evil high heels and we both headed home after 1am.

I am home but have great memories and will upload some pictures when I get the chance of us both on the red carpet.