Finally she left the flat; I know this because she lets the door bang hard behind her, usually making the photo's fall off the wall in the hallway. She had pulled out every single bottle, spray, make up, nick-nack and item out of the cosmetic tray and left them all over the place.
The kitchen looked like there had been three junkies, four rabid dogs and a smattering of psychotic squirrels had decided to have a crack party and then fuck off when cleaning up time arrived.
So, I cleaned the place and headed off to the passport office to renew it. I am off to NZ soon and have been putting off getting my passport renewed as I have been flying up and down to London and needed my passport to take a UK flight, which is annoying. So- now I am in Scotland for a few weeks and am able to get this done.
The passport office in Glasgow has an airport metal detection arch and a search security team.I think this is just to get you used to being ' padded down, searched and a mini rape' like they do at most airports.
There was a big woman who searched my bag going in and she asked " Do you have any sharp objects in your bag?"
"yes, I have a pen, tweezers and a small pair of scissors, there is also moisturiser and a packet of skins, I am not boarding a plane and I didn't realise that I would be getting searched applying for a passport" I snapped.
They ignored me and let me through. Surprisingly my passport was processed quickly and I had packed a full chicken sandwich picnic, a fully loaded IPod and a book, yet it went through in minutes. I was disappointed, I wanted a wee fight.
Glasgow was beautiful today; the sunshine flooded the city and made people smile.I am feeling good today, as the Glasgow Comedy Festival people have finally put on their website the info about my third show - basically my extra show at the Tron Theatre on March 28th at 10pm is now available for folk to buy tickets.
Husband had cleaned up the flat for me and headed off to the shops to get food, I didn't know he was out and I bought some nice dinner from Marks and Spencer’s. As I headed home I realised I had no house keys, I rarely carry house keys, as there is always someone at home or I am with husband and Ashley who also carry keys at all times. Anyway...as I reached home and pressed the buzzer- no one was at in.
Luckily, there is a big fancy shop near me and they build, display and sell fully fitted kitchens. The bloke in there knows me, so I went in and put my lovely expensive steaks in his big display fridge (it works!) and walked about the lovely showroom, pretending to be one of those women who own a kitchen like that.The smooth marble tops, the bespoke oak cupboards, and the amazing futuristic appliances were awesome. I can’t imagine living in a house with a kitchen like that, I was glad when husband arrived. I grabbed my goods out of the fridge and stopped pretending to be Elton John’s wife in the fancy kitchen and headed up to my nice wee normal flat.
The sun is streaming through the curtains and highlighting all the dusty, dull surfaces of my flat, but I LOVE IT
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