Friday, February 20, 2009

Men and their big tool boxes!

What makes men love soldering, (not soldiering –that’s rather mental, I don’t get that) I mean getting a soldering iron, flux and some soldering wire and welding things together. My wee dad LOVES soldering, he solders things that clearly don’t need soldering, like squirrels to the washing pole and odd metal objects around his home. (Ok, the squirrel was a joke, but I believe he would try it if he had the chance).

Husband had to check over an electric dust buster from dad as it wasn’t really working and it had been over heating, when husband opened it up, there had been some guerrilla soldering going on inside it!

My dad has on occasion soldered stuff around his home, like light fittings, ornaments and small bits of jewellery. It’s a throw back to his old days when he was a fixer of all electrical things. My dad also glues, tapes and has string tied to things all over his wee house, it makes me giggle. Yet the dust buster wouldn’t work and he handed it to my husband.

So, husband got his big tool box out and the fucking noise he made clattering through it was akin to the sound of a fork lift truck crashing into a steel tanker. Men cant simply pick out tools and nimbly choose one, the way a woman would quietly go through a handbag looking for lipstick…NO…they drag hundreds of big clanky metal objects about, like some robot hand crushing cars in a junk yard.

Then he slams them down on the table and starts banging hammers, screw drivers and boxes of nails around, as if he is in the noise Olympics and is defending his record for big disturbing sounds.

I know it’s a cliché but by fuck men love their tool box, it must take them back to the old days when a bulky tool box in one hand and a roll of gaffer tape in the other made them THE KING OF STUFF! Women stand back, I have a soldering iron and some star screwdrivers, your world will be a safer place when I am done here!

One day I had a look in that tool box and discovered an array of strange men objects. Why are there so many screw drivers? How many sizes of screws are there in the world? And what the fucking hell is an ALAN KEY? And who is Alan and why do we have his L-Shaped keys in our home?

There are also small boxes full of tiny nails, I have never seen anything so dainty, and who needs tiny nails? Do we know a doll house dweller that needs petite nails put up their tiny curtains?

I won’t ever know the answer to these questions but am sure many women will write in to tell me that they too have a tool box and are capable of doing the odd jobs by themselves. I don’t and I never want to, but soldering looks fun!

No comments: