I have been a big Fat Whinger!

I recently read my blog and noticed all I have done is moan and that’s not good. I need to get out of my scary mood and carry on being informative and funny. Neither of which is easy when you are tired.
So I thought I would tell you a funny story about what happened on the way to the shops today.
I needed a newspaper and some bread and happily walked to the local shops, my hair was being its usual ‘Scarecrow backcombed on acid, possibly restyled by a crack whore who is blind’ look. My favourite look I may add. So as I crossed the road, all my hair and I do mean the whole of my hairy head whipped in front of my face and made me totally blind for a few seconds. In these few seconds I almost got hit by a motorbike.
The biker screeched to a halt and then got off his bike, ripped off his hood and guess who it was?
Yes, it was an angry biker! A man who was pissed off that I almost killed myself beneath his very safely driven wheels stood and shouted at me.
“What are you thinking of? I almost belted you across the tarmac you mad whore?” he screamed as small Asian men laughed at me as they were coming out of the Mosque across from my home.
“I am sorry my hair got in my eyes” I mumbled.
“What is wrong with your hair? Its needs to be tied back if you can’t control it, I use a hair band and some good firm gel” he answered back.
So there I was getting hair tips from an angry biker, who nearly killed me, and he did actually have good controlled hair, it was all sleek and tied back.
“I hate it tied back, it makes me look severe and old” Was all I could say back.
“Well you could just tie it back at the top and leave the rest down” He added.
How fucking surreal was my day? He was right, I either look severe or dead on the Glasgow streets….what can I say.
He said his goodbyes, gave me some more hair tips and roared off on his bike.
Today I have stopped moaning about my transient lifestyle and get on with my job and life.
A near death experience and seriously good hair advice.

Newcastle and people…

I was nervous about being in the car and being driven a distance, but I was ok in the end. I need to get over the car crash and get on with my life. I had an odd gig in Newcastle, I addressed a group of Aspergers sufferers and their partners, my husband has mild Aspergers syndrome and talking about my experiences was actually good. The people their apparently enjoyed the talk as well and I got to answer some questions about my relationship living with a man.
Then I went to the Literature and Philosophy Library to take part in a panel discussing ‘Comedy-what’s the Point?’ that was really interesting to hear peoples view on what they thought of live comedy. Later on we did a comedy gig in the library and that was awesome…being surrounded by all that history and architecture, millions of books and huge paintings getting to tell jokes and share funny stories…really odd space to work in.
There was a huge leather topped table, so I just climbed onto it, sat down and chatted with the microphone.
There were a few philosophers in the crowd and we had a bit of a banter…which was really good.
I love my job and need to stop worrying and being stressed, husband gave me a big talking to about my constant fretting, he made me sit down and go through my diary and helped me book five train and three flight journeys, helped me organise my diary and told me to share the problems more and stop shutting everyone out to deal with things myself.
I have resolved to share my work load and get into problems that get me down and in future, make sure that stuff that is worrying me will be talked about…maybe it was me who had Aspergers and not him?

New Laptop and Sexy Men…

Well, here I am on my new laptop, after all the shit of broken pc; I went out today and bought a new one. It took hours to load it all up so am sorry I have been away for a few days, not my fault…pc problems!
I am off tomorrow to Newcastle, I am doing workshop thing during the day for Aspergers Syndrome help group, as my husband has Aspergers, and boy is that fun?
So I have been exasperated by the antics of my main home computer, it broke six weeks ago and now they STILL haven’t fixed it, so much for PC services, they are about as fucking useful as blind window washers; I hope they all fall into the sea with the stress they have caused me.
My new teeth are still looking good and one unexpected bonus is that I can no longer bite my nails as they will snap my veneers – so for the first time in my life I actually have nails. It feels so very weird and I am scratching everyone and everything as I go about my daily business.
I did get an apology from British Airways, they sent me a bog standard letter of sorry-ness, which to be honest will never make up for the nasty way I was treated by that angry woman at 5am in Glasgow who is the supervisor called Lillian…God knows she must need a hug after the way she behaved. I will NEVER fly BA again and would urge everyone who gets treated badly to complain and vote with your cash. I did tell the customer services woman (who was very nice) that I will be putting it on my blog which gets LOADS of hits daily…so I did it!
Mind you I have had a great week, what with hob nobbing with Mr Clooney and Jake Gylenhall… who am I to complain about anything?
Oh News just in…recent pictures in the press reveal that Kiera Knightley’s new boyfriend is her co-star from Pride and Prejudice –‘Rupert Friend’.
In Edinburgh fringe 2002, Rupert was starring in a play called ‘Kassandra’ with a cool crew of actors, Rupert was lovely and we became mates, in fact on my daughters bedroom wall is a picture of Rupert dressed in US Marine clothes holding me on stage as he carried me off after my last night show…he is gorgeous! I had him first Kiera!