Showing posts with label crime. Show all posts
Showing posts with label crime. Show all posts

Friday, March 15, 2013

You are either out or you are in

I was in a supermarket in London last month.

 

I watched three young children, around five or six years old, sliding up and down the store squealing and pulling stuff off the shelves. They were like chattering, screaming meerkats on a hunt through the Kalahari Desert.

 

I looked for the parents and spotted three women chatting to two men. Every now and then, the kids would huddle round them and then bound off screaming again. The parents were pushing those extremely expensive three wheeled prams and feeding organic seaweed sheets to a baby who was spitting it all back out. One child had one of those wooden bikes with no pedals, let's be honest pedalling is SOoooo last year.

 

That wee munchkin was crashing into giant displays of organic cereal. One child ran up and kicked it's mum right on the shin, she merely rubbed her leg and limped off.

 

It made me recall childhood shopping trips with my mammy in Shettleston. She would frequent the King-Co shop, the nearest thing we got to a supermarket in Glasgow’s East End. It contained about seven aisles of food, a few shelves containing bleach, carbolic soap and some household goods, with maybe four till points. There was a cold meat counter and usually two women in men's socks wearing slippers, pushing a steamie pram full of washing tied in a tight bundle.

 

Before we entered the glass doors, my mammy would grab me by the neck of my damp duffel coat and read me the riot act: “If you touch anything, I will stamp on your neck”

 

I would walk the cool aisles of that store, scared to even look at stuff. If my mammy caught me making eye contact with the ice-cream freezer, she would hiss: “Don’t even think about it!” The rest of the shopping trip would be spent with me staring at the ground.

 

Then we would waddle down the road, struggling with our shopping, a string vegetable bag full of papery onions scratching my legs and plastic bags full of cans cracking my knees. Once we got home, she would take the bags off me.

 

“Go out and play!” she would yell. “Take your skate with you!”

 

Rain or shine, we all went out to play, even if it was with just one broken roller-skate tied to the ankle with a discarded brown nylon our mammy could no longer wear. That was how I spent my long summer holidays. You weren't allowed back in for ages or your mammy would shout "you are either out or you are in bastard face" It was illegal back in the 60s to open and shut a door too many times (obviously a joke).

 

I know I must be getting older, now that I start to tut at other mothers’ parenting skills.

 

Today’s kids even answer their mammy back! I don’t know anyone who was born in the 1960s who would have dared to mouth off at their mammy. We didn't come from mothers who tolerated a kick to their shins. I would still be in a coma ward to this day if I had.

 

I know better than most people that the old days weren’t as good as we think. I know there was a lot of poverty, abuse, robbery and murder, but I still believe that kids didn’t dare disrespect their parents the way they do in today’s society.

 

Then again, in our day we didn’t have shedloads of TV shows that explained how to make your child behave. We had The Golden Shot and The Avengers: two things my mammy was already good at. She could fire a sling-back shoe like a warrior and – trust me – she could avenge like no one I knew.

 

Ah …the good old days.

 


So thanks for reading, if you want follow me on twitter @JaneyGodley for updates.

Thursday, July 26, 2012

Janey Godley’s Podcast Episode 106



(Please be aware that this Podcast Contains strong language)



In episode 106 of Janey Godley’s podcast the comedy mother and daughter broadcasters get into the shooting at Aurora and debate gun laws. Ashley explains her feelings about her estranged family on her father’s side.



Janey talks about her picks for the Edinburgh Fringe and gives us some news on homosexual marriage laws in Scotland and Ashley reads from her diary. The trip to Los Angeles was not all fun and games and Ashley’s take on the dynamics of the family lead to hilarity.



Mother and Daughter comedy team get to natter and the world gets to hear it on Janey Godley’s podcasts, expect some bawdy language and home truths, as Janey Godley and Ashley Storrie lead you down the roads less taken in their fantastic weekly podcast. Listen as mother and daughter banter, bait and burst with laughter.



Janey Godley Podcast at: Episode 106






Check out Janey Godley’s Comic Strip



You can check out all our videos on YouTube



Check out Ashley’s 50 Shades of Reality Here



Order “Handstands in the Dark” Paper Back or in EBook



Please rate us or leave a comment on PodOmatic, ITunes or Facebook



You can find all the info regarding Janey’s live shows by just clicking Gigs!



If you would like to support our podcast then please do so by clicking onto Our Donate Page and donate via PayPal.



I hope you enjoy our Podcasts it would be great if you would pass it on, thanks Janey Godley & Ashley Storrie.




Thursday, July 19, 2012

Janey Godley’s Podcast Episode 105


(Please be aware that this Podcast Contains strong language)


In episode 105 of Janey Godley’s podcast the comedy duo get into the criticism of G4S the Olympic security team and parody their theme tune. Janey asks Ashley her opinion on ‘blades’ for Paralympics.


Ashley explains to her mother the legalities of photographing and exposing the public on Twitter as Janey debates her #timandfreya story which went viral last week. Ashley gives us the full list of #50shadesof reality and talks about MC Frontalot.


Mother and Daughter comedy team get to natter and the world gets to hear it on Janey Godley’s podcasts, expect some bawdy language and home truths, as Janey Godley and Ashley Storrie lead you down the roads less taken in their fantastic weekly podcast. Listen as mother and daughter banter, bait and burst with laughter.


Janey Godley Podcast at: Episode 105



Check out Janey Godley’s Comic Strip

You can check out all our videos on YouTube


Check out Ashley’s 50 Shades of Reality Here

Order “Handstands in the Dark” Paper Back or in EBook


Please rate us or leave a comment on PodOmatic, ITunes or Facebook


You can find all the info regarding Janey’s live shows by just clicking Gigs!



If you would like to support our podcast then please do so by clicking onto Our Donate Page and donate via PayPal.



I hope you enjoy our Podcasts it would be great if you would pass it on, thanks Janey Godley & Ashley Storrie.

Wednesday, June 27, 2012

Janey Godley’s Podcast Episode 102


In episode 102 of Janey Godley’s podcast the mother and daughter comedy duo talk about their efforts to raise donations for the bandwidth.



Janey explains her latest twitter story which happened live on a train, Ashley tells us more about Terence the Man Pillow and the regular slot of weird wonderful news is featured. Eastern European baby boxes, Euro 2012, the Nat West bank debacle, the book 50 shades of grey and many more recent news items get aired this episode.



Mother and Daughter comedy team get to natter and the world gets to hear it on Janey Godley’s podcasts, expect some bawdy language and home truths, as Janey Godley and Ashley Storrie lead you down the roads less taken in their fantastic weekly podcast. Listen as mother and daughter banter, bait and burst with laughter.



Janey Godley Podcast at: Episode 102



You can check out all our videos on YouTube



Check out Janey Godley’s Comic Strip



Order “Handstands in the Dark” Paper Back or in EBook



Please rate us or leave a comment on PodOmatic, ITunes or Facebook



You can find all the info regarding Janey’s live shows by just clicking Gigs!



If you would like to support our podcast then please do so by clicking onto Our Donate Page and donate via PayPal.



Our website of the week is: Gopher Central.com



Check out the saga of Freya and Tim Here


Wednesday, June 20, 2012

Janey Godley’s Podcast Episode 101


(Please be aware that this Podcast Contains strong language)



In episode 101 of Janey Godley’s podcast the gabby duo get angry and shouty about the recent tax evasion of a top comedian and a pop star.



Janey talks about the UK poverty levels and how her daughter bull whipped her with a tea towel and Ashley gives us her weird and wonderful facts. Ashley does her song and the Bold Alec gets a shout out. The bawdy twosome get down and dirty about Ashley stripping during the night.



Mother and Daughter comedy team get to natter and the world gets to hear it on Janey Godley’s podcasts, expect some bawdy language and home truths, as Janey Godley and Ashley Storrie lead you down the roads less taken in their fantastic weekly podcast. Listen as mother and daughter banter, bait and burst with laughter. 

 

Janey Godley Podcast at: Episode 101



You can check out all our videos on YouTube.



Check out Janey Godley’s Podcasts Comic Strip



Order “Handstands in the Dark” Paper Back or in EBook



Please rate us or leave a comment on PodOmatic, ITunes or Facebook



You can find all the info regarding Janey’s live shows by just clicking Gigs!



If you would like to support our podcast then please do so by clicking onto Our Donate Page and donate via PayPal.



I hope you enjoy our Podcasts it would be great if you would pass it on, thanks Janey Godley & Ashley Storrie.



Our website of the week is: My Parents joined Facebook.com

Saturday, June 16, 2012

Am still here


I had an extraordinary posting on my facebook wall from a relative of my husband, not only did they accuse me of organising a ‘hit’ on a brother in law with his own fathers money but they reminded me that I have a bucket mouth and change in toilets in pubs to go onstage.



A few things need corrected here, firstly I have no idea about the ‘hit’ and secondly (this irks me more) I don’t change to go onstage- do people from my past believe I wear a leotard onstage? If so, then I fucking don’t!



I can only imagine and am greedy for the knowledge of the many rumours I left behind when I walked out of that pub in 1994. What other fucked up juicy rumours can there be that I know nothing of? Did I kill my own mother? Did I eat my old dog? Have I fucked the pope? (The last one was a response to the graffiti that suggested most Glaswegians should fuck the pope) any my point is- am missing on the gossip.



Then another woman chipped in that she heard someone else had lived the life I wrote about in my autobiography Handstands in the Dark and I copied it. Well, I suppose there was more than one poor wee working class girl who had an Orange walk flute playing rapey uncle, but I defy anyone to have owned a dog like Major or had a mum who was murdered in the exact same fashion or had a brother who thought he was Bryan Ferry for two whole weeks in 1976.



But I suppose there will always be people who say I lied or I copied or I try to get people killed etc.



That’s life I  – stranger things happen I suppose, like that wee taxi man in Banbury who asked me if my husband ‘minded’ that I was a comedian and I told that driver my husband died in a house fire. The taxi man was so distraught then I explained it was me who started the fire, then I laughed and explained it was a joke, then he asked me if thats the kind of comedy I do, if so it’s ‘not really funny’. That’s the strange things that happen to me.



Meanwhile back in reality- the summer has fucked off, Glasgow is wet and windy, apparently we had great sunny days when Ashley and I were in NZ so that’s our summer over then I take it?



Back to Edinburgh tonight for a lovely wee gig at The Shack.



Follow me on twitter @janeygodley

Thursday, June 14, 2012

Janey Godley’s Podcast Episode 100


Janey Godley’s Podcast Episode 100



(Please be aware that this Podcast Contains strong language)



In episode 100 of Janey Godley’s podcast the comedy mother and daughter celebrate with guests and a live photo shoot from Victoria Barnet. Ashley brings her weird facts to the table and Janey gets down and smutty with her interruptions.



There are a good few tributes and some singing involved and much appreciation from the podcast team. Listen in for some guest voices and Janey reminisces about her dead dog.



Mother and Daughter comedy team get to natter and the world gets to hear it on Janey Godley’s podcasts, expect some bawdy language and home truths, as Janey Godley and Ashley Storrie lead you down the roads less taken in their fantastic weekly podcast. Listen as mother and daughter banter, bait and burst with laughter. 

 

Janey Godley Podcast at: Episode 100



You can check out all our videos on YouTube.



Check out Janey Godley’s Podcasts Comic Strip



Order “Handstands in the Dark” Paper Back or in EBook



Please rate us or leave a comment on PodOmatic, ITunes or Facebook



You can find all the info regarding Janey’s live shows by just clicking Gigs!



If you would like to support our podcast then please do so by clicking onto Our Donate Page and donate via PayPal.



I hope you enjoy our Podcasts it would be great if you would pass it on, thanks Janey Godley & Ashley Storrie.



We have 2 websites of the week today the first is befunky  

And the second is Picture Vic




Wednesday, May 16, 2012

Janey Godley’s Podcast Episode 97



(Please be aware that this Podcast Contains strong language)



In episode 97 of Janey Godley's Podcast the funny duo are live from the Classic Comedy club in New Zealand at the comedy festival. This week's news covers everything from Rebekka Brooke's police charges for perverting the course of justice to news from UK’s so-called psychic Derek Accorah’s announcement that Maddie McCann is dead.



The live audience join in and we hear from the NZ comedy fest Billy T comedy award nominee TJ McDonald.



Mother and Daughter comedy team get to natter and the world gets to hear it on Janey Godley’s podcasts, expect some bawdy language and home truths, as Janey Godley and Ashley Storrie lead you down the roads less taken in their fantastic weekly podcast. Listen as mother and daughter banter, bait and burst with laughter. 

 

Janey Godley Podcast at: Episode 97



You can check out all our videos on YouTube.



Order “Handstands in the Dark” Paper Back or in EBook



Please rate us or leave a comment on PodOmatic, ITunes or Facebook



You can find all the info regarding Janey’s live shows by just clicking Gigs!



If you would like to support our podcast then please do so by clicking onto Our Donate Page and donate via PayPal.



I hope you enjoy our Podcasts it would be great if you would pass it on, thanks Janey Godley & Ashley Storrie.



Thursday, May 03, 2012

Janey Godley’s Podcast Episode 95


(Please be aware that this Podcast Contains strong language)



In episode 95 of Janey Godley's Podcast the mother and daughter comedy duo bring you a short one, there’s plenty of laughter as the two discuss their recent journey's in Wellington , Janey's show and the reviews it's gotten, the comedians they've met and Janey makes fun of Ashley's love of Jazz.


It’s a short one folks as the two are still on a different time zone and are definitely growing weary of each other's company.

Mother and Daughter comedy team get to natter and the world gets to hear it on Janey Godley’s podcasts, expect some bawdy language and home truths, as Janey Godley and Ashley Storrie lead you down the roads less taken in their fantastic weekly podcast. Listen as mother and daughter banter, bait and burst with laughter. 

 



Janey Godley Podcast at: Episode 95



You can check out all our videos on YouTube.



Order “Handstands in the Dark” Paper Back or in EBook



Please rate us or leave a comment on PodOmatic, ITunes or Facebook



You can find all the info regarding Janey’s live shows by just clicking Gigs!



If you would like to support our podcast then please do so by clicking onto Our Donate Page and donate via PayPal.



I hope you enjoy our Podcasts it would be great if you would pass it on, thanks Janey Godley & Ashley Storrie.



Check out our podcast of the week Walking the Room With Dave Anthony and Greg Behrendt.

Wednesday, April 18, 2012

Janey Godley’s Podcast Episode 93


(Please be aware that this Podcast Contains strong language)



In episode 93 of Janey Godley’s podcast the mother and daughter comedy duo talk about the list of people Janey doesn’t know but who are always in the media. The duo receives a parcel live during the recording – it turns out to be the latest book by Jenny Colgan!



Ashley tells us her plans for her birthday tomorrow and Janey talks about Hotel Indigo Edinburgh’s comedy on the room service menu event. Simon Cowell and the book he is pretending to hate get a ranting and Ashley spits nails about Gary Barlow. The Samaritans are the website of the week.



Mother and Daughter comedy team get to natter and the world gets to hear it on Janey Godley’s podcasts, expect some bawdy language and home truths, as Janey Godley and Ashley Storrie lead you down the roads less taken in their fantastic weekly podcast. Listen as mother and daughter banter, bait and burst with laughter. 

 

Janey Godley Podcast at: Episode 93



You can check out all our videos on YouTube.



Order “Handstands in the Dark” Paper Back or in EBook



Please rate us or leave a comment on PodOmatic, ITunes or Facebook



You can find all the info regarding Janey’s live shows by just clicking Gigs!



If you would like to support our podcast then please do so by clicking onto Our Donate Page and donate via PayPal.



I hope you enjoy our Podcasts it would be great if you would pass it on, thanks Janey Godley & Ashley Storrie.



Our website of the week is The Samaritans check it out!



Thursday, April 12, 2012

Janey Godley’s Podcast Episode 92


(Please be aware that this Podcast Contains strong language)



In episode 92 of Janey Godley’s podcast the comedy mother and daughter duo get into a debate of heavily farmed hens and cows, and showing respect for the things we eat.



Ashley ends up crying over the news about a boy in a wheelchair who was robbed and Janey admits to being obsessed about Sister Wives a show about polygamy. Ashley explains the problems of our ever dwindling bandwidth and both of them get silly over podcast questions



Mother and Daughter comedy team get to natter and the world gets to hear it on Janey Godley’s podcasts, expect some bawdy language and home truths, as Janey Godley and Ashley Storrie lead you down the roads less taken in their fantastic weekly podcast. Listen as mother and daughter banter, bait and burst with laughter. 

 

Janey Godley Podcast at: Episode 92



You can check out all our videos on YouTube.



Order “Handstands in the Dark” Paper Back or in EBook



Please rate us or leave a comment on PodOmatic, ITunes or Facebook



You can find all the info regarding Janey’s live shows by just clicking Gigs!



If you would like to support our podcast then please do so by clicking onto Our Donate Page and donate via PayPal.



I hope you enjoy our Podcasts it would be great if you would pass it on, thanks Janey Godley & Ashley Storrie.



Our website of the week is This Day Today check it out!





Wednesday, April 04, 2012

Janey Godley’s Podcast Episode 91


(Please be aware that this Podcast Contains strong language)



In episode 91 of Janey Godley’s podcast the comedy mother and daughter duo give us a roundup of their week. Ashley finally gets back into the podcast now that Janey is back from her travels.



They discuss Ashley’s birthday, Samantha Brick in the Daily Mail, some news clips from around the world and Janey’s obsession that she met an old Nazi. The Edinburgh pandas get some attention and Janey tries to get a sexual story out of her daughter which ends in an argument.



Mother and Daughter comedy team get to natter and the world gets to hear it on Janey Godley’s podcasts, expect some bawdy language and home truths, as Janey Godley and Ashley Storrie lead you down the roads less taken in their fantastic weekly podcast. Listen as mother and daughter banter, bait and burst with laughter. 

 

Janey Godley Podcast at: Episode 91



You can check out all our videos on YouTube.



Order “Handstands in the Dark” Paper Back or in EBook



Please rate us or leave a comment on PodOmatic, ITunes or Facebook



You can find all the info regarding Janey’s live shows by just clicking Gigs!



If you would like to support our podcast then please do so by clicking onto Our Donate Page and donate via PayPal.



I hope you enjoy our Podcasts it would be great if you would pass it on, thanks Janey Godley & Ashley Storrie.

Wednesday, March 21, 2012

Janey Godley's Podcast Episode 89

(Please be aware that this Podcast Contains strong language)



In episode 89 of Janey Godley's podcast- this special edition is live from Boston USA. Janey is joined by her friend Shirley as Ashley is back in Scotland.



The two Glasgow women discuss the UK budget, domestic abuse from Denis Waterman, the Orlando shooting and Scotland’s independence. Janey is in Boston for the Women in Comedy Festival which is happening this weekend.



Mother and Daughter comedy team get to natter and the world gets to hear it on Janey Godley’s podcasts, expect some bawdy language and home truths, as Janey Godley and Ashley Storrie lead you down the roads less taken in their fantastic weekly podcast. Listen as mother and daughter banter, bait and burst with laughter. 

 

Janey Godley Podcast at: Episode 89



You can check out all our videos on YouTube.



Order “Handstands in the Dark” Paper Back or in EBook



Please rate us or leave a comment on PodOmatic, ITunes or Facebook



You can find all the info regarding Janey’s live shows by just clicking Gigs!



If you would like to support this podcast then please do so by clicking onto Our PodOmatic page and donate via the PayPal link on the right hand side of the page. 



I hope you enjoy our Podcasts it would be great if you would pass it on, thanks Janey Godley & Ashley Storrie.

Thursday, March 08, 2012

Janey Godley’s Podcast Episode 87



(Please be aware that this Podcast Contains strong language)



In episode 87 of Janey Godley’s podcast the mother and daughter comedy duo discuss sectarianism, twitter abuse and zombie apocalypse scenarios. Ashley gives us the round up on her odd and bizarre facts from the web and Janey gives us the low down on Rush Limbaugh.



Janey talks about her fears and panic attacks on the Glasgow subway tube systems and Ashley explains about the fear of having the oven man in her toilet.



Mother and Daughter comedy team get to natter and the world gets to hear it on Janey Godley’s podcasts, expect some bawdy language and home truths, as Janey Godley and Ashley Storrie lead you down the roads less taken in their fantastic weekly podcast. Listen as mother and daughter banter, bait and burst with laughter. 

 

Janey Godley Podcast at: Episode 87



You can check out all our videos on YouTube.



Order “Handstands in the Dark” Paper Back or in EBook



Please rate us or leave a comment on PodOmatic, ITunes or Facebook



You can find all the info regarding Janey’s live shows by just clicking Gigs!



If you would like to support this podcast then please do so by clicking onto Our PodOmatic page and donate via the PayPal link on the right hand side of the page. 



I hope you enjoy our Podcasts it would be great if you would pass it on, thanks Janey Godley & Ashley Storrie.

Wednesday, February 22, 2012

Janey Godley’s Podcast Episode 85



(Please be aware that this Podcast Contains strong language)



In episode 85 of Janey Godley’s podcast the Mother and daughter comedy duo get to grips with the horrific situation in Syria and death of amazing journalist Marie Colvin.



Ashley gives us some hysterical, weird and mad facts about Hitler and she discloses the truth about her temp jobs when she was 18. Janey gets into a fight with her daughter in the ownership of the placenta they shared in 1986. Ashley discusses her worst ever haircut.



Mother and Daughter comedy team get to natter and the world gets to hear it on Janey Godley’s podcasts, expect some bawdy language and home truths, as Janey Godley and Ashley Storrie lead you down the roads less taken in their fantastic weekly podcast. Listen as mother and daughter banter, bait and burst with laughter. 

 

Janey Godley Podcast at: Episode 85



You can check out all our videos on YouTube.



Order “Handstands in the Dark” Paper Back or in EBook



Please rate us or leave a comment on PodOmatic, ITunes or Facebook



You can find all the info regarding Janey’s live shows by just clicking Gigs!



If you would like to support this podcast then please do so by clicking onto Our PodOmatic page and donate via the PayPal link on the right hand side of the page. 



I hope you enjoy our Podcasts it would be great if you would pass it on, thanks Janey Godley & Ashley Storrie.





Wednesday, February 08, 2012

Janey Godley’s Podcast Episode 83



(Please be aware that this Podcast Contains strong language)

In episode 83 of Janey Godley’s podcast the mother and daughter comedy duo give up their joint opinions on Beckham’s pants and his wife’s frocks and Ian Paisley’s big shouty voice.


Ashley gives us the weird and wonderful rundown of odd facts concerning the US super bowl phenomenon and Janey does quite a lot of loud cat noises. Podcast questions are answered and Ashley actually cries about her mum maybe meeting William Shatner.

Mother and Daughter comedy team get to natter and the world gets to hear it on Janey Godley’s podcasts, expect some bawdy language and home truths, as Janey Godley and Ashley Storrie lead you down the roads less taken in their fantastic weekly podcast. Listen as mother and daughter banter, bait and burst with laughter. 

 
Janey Godley Podcast at: Episode 83


You can check out all our videos on YouTube.

Order “Handstands in the Dark” Paper Back or in EBook

Please rate us or leave a comment on PodOmatic, ITunes or Facebook

You can find all the info regarding Janey’s live shows by just clicking Gigs!

If you would like to support this podcast then please do so by clicking onto Our PodOmatic page and donate via the PayPal link on the right hand side of the page. 

I hope you enjoy our Podcasts it would be great if you would pass it on, thanks Janey Godley & Ashley Storrie.




Wednesday, December 14, 2011

Janey Godley’s Podcast "Episode 75"


(Please be aware that this Podcast Contains strong language)


In episode 75 of Janey Godley’s podcast the mother and daughter comedy duo discuss feminism, Russian boats and Ashley’s penchant for having sex in cars.


Janey debates the local news in Scotland about a man who threw another off a train and Ashley talks about her late Uncle from the Isle of Rothesay and his recent death. There are some fun weird facts, podcast questions from Facebook and twitter and Ashley sings her self- penned song ‘My Nips are like bullets’



Mother and Daughter comedy team get to natter and the world gets to hear it on Janey Godley’s podcasts, expect some bawdy language and home truths, as Janey Godley and Ashley Storrie lead you down the roads less taken in their fantastic weekly podcast. Listen as mother and daughter banter, bait and burst with laughter.


Please do listen and comment on the Janey Godley Podcast at: Episode 75


Order “Handstands in the Dark” Paper Back or in EBook


Please rate us or leave a comment on PodOmatic, ITunes or Facebook


If you would like to support this podcast then please do so by clicking onto Our PodOmatic page and donating via the PayPal link on the right hand side of the page.


You can find all the info regarding Janey’s live shows by just clicking Gigs!  


I hope you enjoy our Podcasts it would be great if you would pass it on, thanks Janey Godley & Ashley Storrie.

Saturday, September 26, 2009

Domestic Abuse, Red Card it!

This blog is in conjunction with the Red Card Campaign on Twitter.

Scotland’s domestic abuse statistics rise by 80% after a Rangers and Celtic football match was reported by assistant Chief Constable Neilson of Strathclyde Police. During an Old Firm match serious and violent crimes can double.

After one football game back in February this year, police were called out to 185 incidents of domestic abuse- a jump of 52% compared to weekends when a match is not being played.

Assistant Chief Constable John Neilson said the force arrested more than 550 people on the day of the match - all of whom were drunk.

Officers also had to contend with a rise in the number of attempted murders, assaults, and breaches of the peace.

And such incidents have peaked during the past Old Firm showdowns during this year.
Now with the league match next Sunday at Ibrox the bigoted wife beaters need to feel the might of the football clubs. Punching the wife is a serious as punching a fan, yet a violent thug will only be refused entry to a match for fan bashing, and wife beaters will still get welcomed into the terraces. This needs to be addressed. Men who beat their partners and have been prosecuted should never be allowed into a football ground for life.
The clubs should be highlighting this situation, it can’t all be blamed on alcohol and if the clubs are seen to be doing something, it can only help.

Sectarianism has been being tackled with some success.
But thugs have basically swapped one form of abuse for another and yet again women get the brunt of their pent up frustrations.

These cowardly thugs, are restricted from bottling other football fans who wear a different coloured scarf on the streets by the police have now found an outlet for their drunken spitting hatred. They can now do their beating in private.

It is shocking to realise that women and children recognise that when their father’s favourite team gets beat, then so will they.
There has to be some sort of solution to this issue.

Police have warned pub and club owners to reinforce their responsibility towards customers and to make sure that drunks will not be served.

Booze is not always the cause for post match wife beating, it’s not as prevalent with other Scottish premier league clubs, it is mainly connected with Rangers and Celtic fans, and so that rules alcohol out as the sole instigator in this issue.

There is something that runs deeper with the psyche of the Old Firm fans, why do they become so vehemently angry? What makes an Old Firm football attendee kick his wife in the head when his team gets beaten?

Someone somewhere needs to come up with an answer and my opinion still sways towards football managers and committees to come out and talk about Old Firm violence.
Sectarianism isn’t Scotland’s dirty secret- Old Firm Wife Beating is.

Please support this campaign on Twitter, do all you can to highlight this issue. Thanks Janey Godley

Friday, September 11, 2009

Shopping Bags…and Dead Men

M&S charge you for a plastic bag to carry your food home, yet they don’t charge you for a plastic bag to carry your clothes home after purchase. They also don’t charge you for all the plastic that they wrap around the food unnecessarily either, I wish they would make up their minds.

I now have a ‘shopping bag’ which I take to the shops and put my food in to bring home. I recall years ago that my mum used to have a special shopping bag, like all Glasgow mammies had. It was brown, plastic, deep and smelled of potatoes and tobacco with an occasional Embassy fag coupon floating about the bottom of it. Your mammy made you carry it to the shops with a list of stuff to get and then you had to lug it back home again, feeling the handles strain against the weight.

My daughter was aghast to hear that us kids -back in the 60s had to go to the shops and carry a wee bag of coal and some sticks on our shoulders all the way back to our home!
I recall the day when I was considered ‘big’ enough to get the coal from Joe Lafferty’s in Shettleston Rd. He had those big tin posters of Cherry Blossom shoe polish, with wee kittens sitting in shiny boots right beside the coal stack. He helped balance the bag full of coal on my shoulder and watched me walk precariously out the door, all proud to be old enough to carry coal!

The chopped fire sticks would dangle on a string beside your legs and give you skelfs (splinters) as it bounced off your thighs and later you would have to dig them out of your skin with a hot sterilised needle! Shopping was different back then!

We used to wait the queue in Curley’s which was a big grocer shop; they sold all the cold meats, butter, cheese, cans and household cleaners. The floor was covered in black and white tiles and the staff wore white aprons then you had to go queue at the local butchers to get the butcher meat.

So we are back to the days of proper shopping bags, and that’s a good thing in my eyes! I am hoping shopping trolleys make a come back as well, as I have a tartan one in the cupboard.

Ok, some news about Glasgow -seems John Friel, an old gangster died last week. I recall him from 1979 when he parked his jaguar car outside my (soon to be) father in law’s bar in Shettleston; he managed to clip my leg as he backed up. I didn’t know (nor care) who he was, all I saw was a tall balding man wearing a beige camel coat getting out of the car and ignoring the fact he just hurt me. I ran towards him and lifted one big blue Kicker clad foot and kicked him squarely on his spine; his beige coat had a big muddy footprint on it.

“What the fuck?” he shouted twisting his coat round to look at the stain.

My prospective father in law laughed loudly and nodded at Mr Friel “that’s my son’s girlfriend”

“She needs to stop kicking people” Friel snapped.

“She probably wont” My boyfriend’s dad laughed again and the incident was over as quick as it started.

We did meet up years later and he was always absolutely courteous and lovely to me, though once he told me to get out of a nightclub I was in as he was annoyed that the women I was socialising with worked as prostitutes and he knew them.

“You should be at home with your husband and not out here with these working girls” he snapped at me. This was in the dark days of 1980s East End Glasgow, women back then weren’t allowed to vote, speak loudly or read at that time, unless accompanied by a female tutor or virgin/spinster companion.

Me and John Friel argued for about half an hour until he conceded defeat and accepted that I was allowed to socialise with anyone I wanted, especially after I threatened to penalty kick his spine again!

I recently read that he was involved in some spy ring, the IRA and a host of underground activities; I always thought he had kind eyes and a nice smile. RIP Mr Friel…may my footprint for ever be on your coat!