Monday, July 19, 2010

My brain goes mad!

Spent two nights in Leeds and did nothing more than sleep, and get up for the comedy gigs.

If you know me you will know how much I despise Cliff Richard, and the first thing I saw in the hotel room in Leeds was a photo of him next to my bed, I reckon that’s why I slept for hours after my eyes took in the horror. It wasn’t a magazine, someone just left a glossy photo of Cliff on the bedside table, the chambermaid hadn’t removed it, maybe she was in on the Cliff subliminal movement, I don’t know.

I stared at it, with my suitcase in my hand and I considered moving rooms in case Cliff had haunted it even though he is alive, he can still haunt us, don’t let that small detail fool you. I put the photo in the bin that was after I had shredded it with tiny miniscule movements, almost robotic behaviour, I wasn’t happy till he was tiny shredded squares in the metal bin. I knew when I slept the little squares would pixelate, join together and Cliff once more would be whole and come and get me, drag me onto his big Red Bus and sing about Jesus or dolls into my face. Anyway I got shot of the photo.

The sleeping thing is bothering me; I seem to be out of whack with my normal pattern. I end up sleeping for 17 hours a day and staying awake all night then nodding off…what is wrong with me? And if you think that’s bad am considering hiding in the woodlands with a crossbow and an owl in a shoebox.

Let me explain both, firstly despite trying all manner of ways to get some pre fringe press I am lacking some decent publicity so I reckon if I go mad and hide in foliage with a deadly weapon and small woodland creature- publicity will follow. People will buy tickets to my shows solely to find out why I keep an owl in a shoebox!

Ashley and did our first podcast, which was funny, because some people complained we sounded posh, some people said they couldn’t understand a word we were saying and others said we talked very formal and not relaxed. Trust me; we were so strung out of lack of sleep that the podcast was bordering on libellous, disturbing evil gossip that it took hours to edit. We will get better at it, keep listening please?

We like it (Ashley and I) and if you want to hear it please go to

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