Am Late. I know.

Sorry I have been missing again, I have been travelling and you have no fucking idea how busy I have been but I must be disciplined and get my blog up to date. I am sitting in fancy flat in Chelsea waiting to go to Soho Theatre tonight for my opening night. I haven’t really decided what I am talking about, but the show is about my Blog …yes this thing that you are reading.
The flight down with husband was fun, I tried to sleep and luckily we got separated during the flight as the plane was so busy so I didn’t have to feel guilty about tuning into my IPod. Normally he gets grumpy if I prefer to listen to Steely Dan instead of him.
So we landed, we got into the flat, I changed and had to run to a photo shoot and interview with Easy living magazine. The hotel was in Cadogan Square in London and it was extremely posh, I mean seriously posh. I was wearing a green shirt and white linen trousers as it was so sunny. I imagined it would all be very low key, but when I got there –there was a make up artist, a famous photographer, an assistant to that famous photographer and a journalist. They got my face done and took me up to one the expensive bedrooms and asked me to lie down! I am not kidding the amount of camera and lighting equipment in that room made me think ‘finally I get to do a porn shoot!’
So there I was lying on a big posh bed with a crew standing round me staring at the images that were coming up on a big computer screen as one guy shouted “Come on Janey, smile, turn round, give me some leg action!” It was so funny.
No it wasn’t a porn shoot, just a very posh photo shoot for this Conde Naste magazine feature. Then we moved downstairs as I sat on the big plush carpet, I was instructed to move, smile, not smile as a make up girl fussed over my quickly disappearing lip gloss and annoyingly difficult hair.
It was really tiring, and then I had to sit and do the interview which will be featuring my book that goes to paperback in August.
By the time I got back to husband I was ready to drop. I had still yet to write the Nancy Del O’llio piece for BBC Radio 4 and compile an interview that I am doing on BBC Radio 4 with Jo Frost ‘The Supernanny’ from TV.
So this morning I got up, started writing and then went to see Monica’s new flat in Chelsea, she has problems with the windows as they are painted down, she was exploding with anger and shouting at the landlord, meanwhile husband took a screw driver to the painted fixtures and released the window and made Monica scream with happiness. See who needs builders? just get a Glaswegian with a screw driver and all windows will be prised!
So I am sitting here trying to work out what I will be saying at my opening night at the prestigious Soho theatre, wish me well please?