The Burns are fading

My nose looks like someone took a blow torch to it and the back of my neck is looks basically like a burn that occurred when a chip pan was thrown at me. I won’t ever sit near a burning ball of fire called the sun ever again.
The good news is I love LA and have met loads of awesome people, even the couple who had a big screaming domestic fight on our street (how dare they- we are posh) – but anyway this man and woman had a bust up.

How, I don’t really know as she owned a car and he was on a silver scooter, not an electric one, the kind you push with your feet and should give up doing when you hit puberty. She was a feisty big black lady and he was a skinny dreadlocked black man, they screamed at each other.

At first I thought she had hit him accidentally with the car but that’s wasn’t what happened- anyway they were on our street, him on his scooter and her in the car. I had to stand on a brick fireplace and put my ear to window and shoosh the kids to hear them, I wasn’t really interested but it was a slow blog day.

There is only so much sunburn you can write about.

She got out of her car and shouted at him, he grabbed her car keys and scooted off, she stomped about angrily and then the car sat on the road with its emergency lights flashing, then they both came back, made up, he put his scooter in the boot and the drove off with ‘All the Single ladies’ blasting out the stereo. I love Beyonce; she makes people love each other again.

So other than that I found a cracking sports bar near us and ate a hotdog, drank a beer and sat with big burly redneck looking men and screamed for The Dodgers. I pretended I was American and made wild gestures when things happened at the baseball game on the big screen. I didn’t know what was going on, but it’s easy to copy people when you are with them, you can become them and think like them. That’s probably how Bush got elected so many times; people just drank beer and copied each other.

It was great fun, I kinda want to grow a ponytail and own a flat back truck and swear at baseball on a regular basis, it may help when my menopause kicks in. You know how some women change when they go through their change of life; you know how some women take to knitting jumpers with fluffy tabby cats on the front and grow a small beard? Well I am going to start drinking beer and wearing plaid shirts and punching walls when am full of beer!

Other than that I met up with Gina Yashere who is a wonderful black female comic from London and we know each other from the UK comedy circuit. She is doing awesome in LA she has a regular slot on Jay Leno show and has had a Showtime comedy special, she is amazing. We had a cracking vegetarian lunch, that’s about as LA that I get…eating vegetables.

So I am off to have big adventures this weekend before I go home….watch this space.