Who likes Turbulence?

Finally am home from Atlanta- Ashley and I had the best time ever on our recent trip. There is a part of me that wishes she wasn’t my daughter and just a good pal, and then people wouldn’t think it odd I take her with me on trips! Somehow it’s ok for pals to work and travel together but slightly odd if mother and daughter do it!

Ashley and I are doing a kids show together at 12.45pm at Edinburgh Fringe as well as me doing a one woman show at 7pm and we are writing together for a radio/TV project, so we do enjoy working alongside each other.

Anyway now that I have excused my rather close happy relationship with my daughter (it does worry me that people think its odd) I have to tell you what fun we had in Atlanta.

On arrival we were picked up at Atlanta airport with a lovely bloke called Henry who treated us like a pair of special princess’s and got us straight to the hotel. The heat was stifling and we were both exhausted, we did the normal thing and tried to walk out of the hotel and explore the area.
I forgot how much Americans dislike walking and don’t actually provide many pavements/sidewalks for people like us to enjoy such an event.

We were in a suburb called Roswell and the sidewalk only goes so far down the road and abruptly stops – there were two giant four car lanes of traffic speeding past and not many crossings to get across! We were stuck! I suppose we could have gotten a cab but when you don’t know where you are going its hard to tell people the destination, that’s why I like walking! We ended up back at the hotel.

The venue for the comedy gig is called Andretti’s which is a kind of adult playground with go kart racing, rock climbing and squillions of gaming/racing/skill computer games that kids can enjoy. It really is awesome and Ashley had fun getting free tickets and corporate cards to play everything she wanted. The actual comedy club is inside the bar/restaurant area and really nice to play.

They were a lovely crowd night after night and the guys at Andretti’s were so lovely looking after us, they picked us up and dropped us off anywhere we wanted to go. During the day Ashley and I sat by the pool and despite wearing Factor 60 still managed to sunburn her shins!

I loved the trip especially after the time we had in London – by the way did I tell you what happened on our last night when I tried to do comedy at the Groucho’s 25th Anniversary party? No – well let me tell you!

The room was heaving with members, famous folk and actors getting FREE cocktails, booze and shouting ensued! The space for the performers was just a small area beside a window with a microphone that didn’t actually work. Me, some guys from Avenue Q and a lovely singer stood staring at our doom laded night ahead!

They got on and off quickly without much effect and I just wanted to fling myself out of the window. I finally stood on a piano stool, grabbed the microphone that didn’t work and spotted Ashley with Paul and John (my mates) standing there like a clutch of worried mothers watching their child get up and ‘do a turn’ and they looked as nervous as I felt.

No one listened to anything I said. My chest hurt with horror. So I finally burst into song. Yes, you heard me I SANG a funny impromptu version of Pearls a Singer with Groucho references mixed in with rude suggestions about what happens at the club. The crowd joined in with the chorus, and everything ended with ‘In the Groucho’ it was at least the best I could do with circumstances I had and people after the gig told me they couldn’t really hear me but liked the song!

God love wee Bernie (the fabulous famous character that he is) who joined in and whipped us all into a happy bunch of folk.

What a night! BUT am glad I took on the challenge and did the best I could, but I promise not to ever sing again!

Anyway back to Atlanta, Ashley and I had the best time, but I do have to mention that the sheer amount of food that you get served in every restaurant in that part of America stunned me. Everyone takes their left over’s home in a box, I couldn’t imagine anything worse than walking about with a box of food, but then no one walks about they all have air conditioned cars and can accommodate boxes of left over food.

So finally the trip was over and we headed to the airport and worried about not getting sat together as the plane was full. Turns out we managed to get two seats together surrounded with screaming babies and we willed ourselves into a fitful sleep. It was horrible as the turbulence on the flight was horrifying, I have flown all over the world BUT the sheer amount of shaking, creaking and bumping was scary. In the dark all I could see was Ashley’s big staring eyes pleading with me to reassure her we weren’t about to crash and die.

It went on for hours! My fear factor was finally drained after 3 hours of bumpy turbulence and at one point I wanted the plane to crash just to get a break from the battering about. The thought of lying broken on the ground was more attractive than 5 more hours of being shaken about.

Well, we didn’t fall out of the sky, we made it home and this weekend I am off to Spain to do some gigs and hopefully avoid a volcano flume and turbulence. Speak soon…