Monday, January 28, 2008

Where Am I?

I sometimes get so bloody confused as to where I am supposed to be from one day to the next. Life is busy just now and travel plans are being changed daily. I am off to London tomorrow for a few days and then back up and down for the rest of February.

To make matters worse I am trying to stick to a diet, now that’s the worst thing when I am travelling as I tend to eat when am bored and sitting around in airports.

Last week in Prague I can’t believe how much food they offered that I just couldn’t eat; everything was so stodgy and deep fried, that these people could actually be Glaswegian!
So I turned into a small pit pony and lived on apples and carrots the whole trip.

I am so determined to lose my fat belly, I saw myself naked in a mirror from behind back in Cardiff and I was horrified as to how I looked. When did I become the fat lardy lady? I cannot bear to see myself naked for at least a year; the shock was too bad from the last attempt.

I have rolls of fat that ripple down my bum and the backs of my legs! I look like one of those Seaside postcards from the 1930s, it’s awful to accept.

So here we go again with the diet. You know you have reached an unacceptable size when you are NOW the weight you were when you were nine months pregnant with your baby. That’s wrong!

So February is full of travel and diets. I am going to the BAFTA awards in London soon and my guest this year is the Scottish Airport hero John Smeaton, he was the guy who intervened when a terror attack hit Glasgow Airport last year.

He was also a guest on my chat show at the Fringe last year and he is an all round lovely bloke.

I need to look nice and try not to resemble a fat rolly-polly woman on the red carpet.

March 6th is my Glasgow Comedy Festival show at The Garage in Glasgow at 8pm and I am doing a wee slot at the Terence Higgins Charity show on Sunday March 9th at Oran Mor on Glasgow’s Byres Road.

Both shows still have some tickets available; click on my website on how to buy if you are up for it and let me know if you are coming so I can say a special hi to my blog friends on the night?

2 comments:

dogwithnobrain said...

special hi? do you mean mercilessly take the piss out of them all night?????

You are safer at a distance Wummin!

DWNB

R said...

very funny site.