Edinburgh had been basked in sunshine when I arrived
last week. I kept staring up to the sky wondering ‘what is going on’ and when
it will batter down with rain. (The answer was -a short shower after I got my
hair done obviously).
Having decided not to do the fringe this year (which
am totally not regretting for reasons you will read later) but am enjoying the
gigs and getting to see heaps of shows. Firstly if you like theatre go see Mon
Droit at Pleasance Below everyday at 2pm it’s a cracking play about the
American man who was obsessed by the Queen and ended up off meds and they found
his bones on an Island in St James’s park 3 years after his demise. Mike
McShane the actor/comic wrote it and performs it with the stunningly good actress
Suki Webster. I saw it twice. My musician mate Roland Gift adored it and he is
a pretty hard theatre critic to crack!
So, back to my late night shenanigans at the fringe,
staying out late, running to do Set List at 1am (which is a must see just to
watch the ego of comics struggle with the subject matter and come out the other
end with their headline reputation intact) or SPANK! Which is legend late night
hooteypookey comedy high jinkery at 2am- all of which I love.
You need to see Edinburgh in the late night sunset,
there is no beauty like it, with castles, steeples and monuments poking the red
slashed horizon and offering up a postcard image to everyone with a camera.
Then add the swirling pipes, fighter jets and drums of the tattoo in the
background and you are pretty much set to vote independence even if you don’t
live in my country!
I got to meet awesome people, for instance Neil
Gaiman the legendary author/comic book genius joined me for a podcast interview
and accepted gratefully The Standard a comic book written by Ashley Storrie’s
best pal John Lees, the Glasgow comic book writer.
Neil was so generous and accepted the comic book
from John and said “hurrah, something to read on the way home!” I love that
man.
And still the sun shone, the cobbles glittered and
venues over heated and people sweated and beer was sold in swimming pool
quantity’s to fringe going guzzlers. The reviews came out, hopes were dashed,
shows were lauded and some comedians affected a swagger that they didn’t arrive
with. They are set for glory....
I watched one well known bloke off the telly give a
press photographer who asked him to turn to the left -a right hard time
shouting “mate just take the picture eh?” the photographer basically threw his
hand up clicked and said “fine” then turned to me and added “won’t be my fault
his photo looks like shit” The famous bloke (who didn’t know me obviously- why
would he?) glared at me (he thought I was the photographers assistant) and said
“how hard is it to do your job?” I kinda felt for the bloke, he was besieged by
young girls demanding a photo and a press man demanding a decent photo...fuck
it must be hard being that famous....all that fixing your hair for photo’s and
being rude for no good reason...mind you one person got his name wrong and
walked away shouting “it’s not him, it’s the wanker that looks like him” people
can be cruel and justice can be swift.
I had some gigs around town, basically ‘taking work
from the comics who came up with a show and deserve that work’ as I overhead
one comic describe me....she still doesn’t know I heard her! Fuck was
funny...anyway I was booked for BBC radio 4 Just a Minute and was shitting it.
If you don’t know, Just a Minute is a BBC legendary
radio show that is basically an institution and you don’t want to fuck it up.
I was so excited and nervous about doing it that I
almost had an a mild stroke, but as always Paul Merton and his comedy
compatriots put me through my paces. I came out the other end and had a great
time, you can hear it on 20th August at 6.15 (same day we do the
play #timandfreya which is at Pleasance attic at 7.15pm)
So we all had a lovely dinner in Edinburgh after the
radio show and I was so relaxed and happy and relieved Just a Minute was done,
I strolled down the Cowgate heading to meet a friend. I got a call on my mobile
and it was my daughter Ashley who was back in Glasgow.
“emm...Mum, hello, you ok?” she sounded drunk I
think...which is unusual at that time of night, almost nine pm.
“You ok Ashley, what you doing?” I chirped back.
“Am gonna go, speak soon.....” she mumbled. I felt
icy cold blood run behind my eyes and my scalp tightened.
My heart thumped in my chest; somehow the mummy
psychic umbilical cord whipped across the red skies of Edinburgh and hooked its
sinewy fibres over the tenements of Glasgow and slung back into my 26 year old
daughter “Ashley speak now and tell me what’s wrong” I spoke clearly as a girl
waited for me to finish the call so she could tell me about her show as she
flicked a flyer at me.
“Mum am in an ambulance, I fell or fainted...I don’t
know where I am” she whispered. She sounded about 7 years old, I could hear the
fear and confusion in her voice.
“Call your dad now he is in Glasgow, let him know
where ambulance is going am on my way home” I hung up and the girl rolled her
eyes exhausted waiting for me to get off phone “excuse me can I have two
minutes to tell you about my show?” I stared at her, my mind checking I had
credit cards, cash and a quick route to Waverley Station and shouted “no, now
get out of my way quick” I pushed her
aside and set off.
“How fucking rude and you are a comedian as well”
she screamed at me as my flip flops slapped the cobbles and I made to Waverley
Station in Usain Bolt mode, pushing people out of the way and looking like a
woman in a panic.
I caught the train and sat there willing it to move,
I now know why Speed the movie worked, I wanted to break into the cabin and
scream “Fucking make the train go fast -no stops, no Croy, no Falkirk just GO
TO GLASGOW”
I sat there staring at my reflection all I could
think of was my girl, wee with bunches smiling and clapping, or standing on
stage as a young woman or graduating university with me weeping with pride, now
all I can see in my head is my beautiful daughter lying on a Glasgow street,
vulnerable, scared confused and not knowing where she is. All I could imagine
was blood seeping out of wounds, people staring at her wondering if she is
drunk, someone lifting her skirt, stealing her bag, watching her struggle to
breathe?
None of that happened from what she recalled she
collapsed and a woman held her in her arms and stroked her head and whispered
to her “you will be ok, am here” and then she woke up in the ambulance with
paramedics asking questions. Who by the way when Ashley explained her mum was
in Edinburgh as she is a comedian they made a point of telling her they had
never heard of me since I haven’t been on telly. This made Ashley smile but she
never got the name of the pavement Angel who made sure she was safe. Meanwhile
for me the train took forever.
By the time I got home Ashley was out of hospital
and showed me her bruises and needed hugged.
She is fine we still don’t know what happened, she
had really low blood sugar and we presumed she fainted but we are organising
investigation with the doctor/hospital. Thanks for all the nice messages and
thanks to the woman who helped my girl as she lay on the concrete outside
Italian cafe Paperinos on Byres road.
So we all go back to fringe on Monday 20th
to do the play #timandfreya at 7.15 at Pleasance.
So thanks for reading, if you want follow me on
twitter @JaneyGodley for updates.
