Thursday, April 05, 2012

Am so beautiful you all hate Me!

Am not really, that was a poke at the recent article (one amongst many) by self promoter Samantha Brick who wrote a column in  UK rag The Daily Mail (I know how mad?) about how stunningly beautiful she is and how women hate her for it. She tells of pilots on planes, ordering her champagne, bar men who refuse her credit card and random men buying train tickets to unwanted destinations just to be in her orbit, I think she overdosed on Mills and Boons books as an impressionable girl. By the way her husband looks like he is in a re- enactment of a crime scene standing beside her near the woods in the photo in the Daily Mail. I wonder what he makes of her madness.

I genuinely know a few stunningly heart stopping gorgeous women and I know they would never ‘claim’ beauty and then use their aesthetic luck against other women, coz they are not deluded or mentally unstable. Beauty really is what others see not what you recognise as a talent/burden on your own skin. My husband regularly tells me I am beautiful because he married me 32 years ago and if he keeps telling himself this, he will feel he hasn’t fucked up his original opinion because he as Aspergers syndrome and hates being wrong.

I believe my daughter Ashley is beautiful and I am her mum and will always look at her with awe, because that narcissism is based on what my own cells and vagina made 25 years ago, but she is beautiful to me and thats a mother’s love right there! But she is still beautiful.

Poor Samantha Brick got a torrent of abuse on twitter after her article went viral, but this isn’t the first time she has peddled this deluded bollocks- she has written about this before for other publications. So she must believe it.

Women really can be their own worst enemy, we buy heaps of magazines that show up any fat bits or bad skin on the celebs they beg us to worship and my point is men don’t do that? I had a pub for 15yrs and not once did I hear a man say “she hasn’t blended her make up in and her shoes don’t match” other women speak like that and Samantha Brick’s article makes this situation worse.

Makes you wonder what women like her really think? So Samantha believes-‘ I am stunning to look at it’ - therefore every career issue I have had is down to other women sabotaging my job? No, Samantha I suspect you being an average looking woman who keeps blaming other women for your own failures mean you have psychological issues that need attending.

Life has been tough past few weeks; I went to Boston comedy festival and had such fun. It’s a great city and the women I met there were just cracking funny people to get to know. The downside of Boston was- I contracted some stinky chest virus and coughed my way through the tour and landed in Glasgow so I could immediately head to Newcastle at The Stand comedy club. I cannot tell you how amazing The Stand comedy club is, they really looked after me and so I headed home to Glasgow sick a wheezing pig right into The Glasgow Comedy festival where I had a double bill one woman show to accommodate the volume of tickets sold.

Thankfully Ashley was there and she show managed, introduced and directed my material as my head was too woolly, and lo and behold I got a stonking review despite being so yucky. The audience really did give up so much energy I think I managed to do the shows without looking like a sick martyred comedian- so THANKS GLASGOW!

You can see the review here: Chortle  and the clip of my Boston show here: YouTube

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