Showing posts with label london. Show all posts
Showing posts with label london. Show all posts

Saturday, April 19, 2014

Janey Godley’s Podcast Episode 196



(Please be aware that this Podcast Contains strong language)


In episode 196 of Janey Godley's award winning podcast, the comedy mother and daughter Ashley Storrie shoot the breeze in this late podcast. Janey was in London.



Ashley tells us all about her birthday dinner and reminisces about her school days. Janey tells us about her latest #traintales. Ashley explains the Easter Story in the 'funny voice' and they both talk about this week's news stories.



Mother and Daughter comedy team get to natter and the world gets to hear it on Janey Godley’s podcasts, expect some bawdy language and home truths, as Janey Godley and Ashley Storrie lead you down the roads less taken in their fantastic weekly podcast. Listen as mother and daughter banter, bait and burst with laughter.



Janey Godley Podcast at: Episode 196


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We hope you enjoy our Podcasts it would be great if you would pass it on, thanks Janey Godley & Ashley Storrie.





Thursday, June 20, 2013

Janey Godley’s Podcast Episode 153


(Please be aware that this Podcast Contains strong language)

 

In episode 153 of Janey Godley's podcast the mother and daughter comedy duo bring you a short late night round up of their goings on in London. Ashley talks about her recent tentative steps into the world of comedy down south, while Janey talks about the latest news including Saatchi's attack on Nigella Lawson and Ian Brady's court room outburst.

 

The pair are tired and warm in the middle of London's hottest night, Ashley sweats a lot and Janey gets interrupted quite a bit.

 

Mother and Daughter comedy team get to natter and the world gets to hear it on Janey Godley’s podcasts, expect some bawdy language and home truths, as Janey Godley and Ashley Storrie lead you down the roads less taken in their fantastic weekly podcast. Listen as mother and daughter banter, bait and burst with laughter.

 

Janey Godley Podcast at: Episode 153

 

If you would like to support our podcast then please do so by clicking onto Our Donate Page and donate via PayPal or like us on Facebook

 

For more information on how you can help Matthew McVarish visit The Road to Change website

 


 

Click Here To see the art of Hannah Stone

 

Get your copy of Molly Wobbly’s Tit factory, live cast recording: Here.

 


 

You can check out all our videos on: YouTube

 

Order “Handstands in the Dark” Paper Back or in EBook

 

Please rate us or leave a comment on: PodOmatic, ITunes

 

You can find all the info regarding Janey’s live shows by just clicking Gigs!

 

We hope you enjoy our Podcasts it would be great if you would pass it on, thanks Janey Godley & Ashley Storrie.


Saturday, April 20, 2013

Janey Godley’s Podcast Episode 144


(Please be aware that this Podcast Contains strong language)

 

In episode 144 of Janey Godley's podcast, the comedy mother and daughter duo shoot the breeze in a William Shatner buzz fest. Ashley tells the whole story of her twitter chat with 'The Shatner'.

 

Janey gives us her view on the Thatcher funeral, the Boston bombings and her husband's latest Asperger’s rant. Ashley starts with a song and we have a celebrity podcast question from Greg McHugh (star of Fresh Meat and Gary Tank Commander).

 

Mother and Daughter comedy team get to natter and the world gets to hear it on Janey Godley’s podcasts, expect some bawdy language and home truths, as Janey Godley and Ashley Storrie lead you down the roads less taken in their fantastic weekly podcast. Listen as mother and daughter banter, bait and burst with laughter.

 

Janey Godley Podcast at: Episode 144

 

If you would like to support our podcast then please do so by clicking onto Our Donate Page and donate via PayPal or like us on Facebook

 


 

Click Here To see the art of Hannah Stone

 

Get your copy of Molly Wobbly’s Tit factory, live cast recording: Here.

 


 

You can check out all our videos on: YouTube

 

Order “Handstands in the Dark” Paper Back or in EBook

 

Please rate us or leave a comment on: PodOmatic, ITunes

 

You can find all the info regarding Janey’s live shows by just clicking Gigs!

 

We hope you enjoy our Podcasts it would be great if you would pass it on, thanks Janey Godley & Ashley Storrie.

 


 

 

Tuesday, April 16, 2013

Life sucks sometimes...


So there I was finally on a train to London with my happy daughter Ashley. We travel well together, she has tour managed me in Australia and NZ so she knows when to shut up and when to make me tea. We sat in the first class bit of the Virgin train, listening to music and then I checked my twitter feed to find out Thatcher had died and I announce it loudly to the elderly people surrounding us as they don't have twitter and might want to know, plus I like being a death announcer.

 

"That's Thatcher dead!" I said as everyone stared at me.

 

An elderly man wearing a cardigan with elbow patched leaned over and said "What age was she?" as if there was a cut off point for all old people. "I don't know" I answered and went back to reading the words 'DING DONG' 'miners' 'witch' 'Pinochet' repeatedly on Twitter. Not for me, I will never celebrate anyone's death, and to be honest if the whole country hated her so much why do we have a Tory in power now?

 

So me and Ashley finally get into London and headed straight to Groucho club, as we had a meeting and were just desperate to get off the train.

 

London is my favourite city of all time, I love the mad hustle and bustle. In Soho there are just people screaming into their phones and pushing the homeless to the kerb as they have 'important business', I don't like those people to be honest. The city itself I adore.

 

Me and Ashley got to spend some quality time with mates, try on each other's make up, flick through someone else's DVD collection and eat someone else's food...awesome stuff.

 

On the Saturday night after a heap of meetings, parties and a few wee gins, I finally fell into bed at 1am.

 

I was awakened at 4am with Ashley bursting in my door, I thought the flat was on fire but no it was merely the news that William Shatner (her ALL TIME HERO) had finally tweeted her. Many listeners of our podcast (Janey Godley's Podcast) knew how much Ashley loves the man and have been repeatedly tweeting the Star Man for ages and finally he got in touch. Not only did he get in touch he chatted for ages with her (and me, I always get in on the act) and Ashley had to scream into a cushion as my mate Monica was fast asleep and it would be rude to wake her up at 4am with Shatner news! Can you believe he said he listened to our podcast and LOVED IT!

 

Suffice to say Ashley got a birthday wish from the great man himself and is still on cloud nine....

 

So back to Glasgow...but not without a drunk Glaswegian causing that much offence to the surrounding passengers on the train, he was taken off at Wigan by the cops. I had taken video footage and tweeted about him as everyone knows how much I like a good train fight on twitter....anyway upshot is, the cops have the video and shouty stupid man had to catch another train and am now a witness.

 

Life is ok, am sick to my stomach though as last night my beloved Boston was bombed during a marathon. I love Boston, me and my wee pal Shirley were there last year when I took part in their comedy festival, it was shocking to watch. People are utter bastards to bomb any city...but you know what there are good people in the world and we have to focus on that as well.

 

Here's hoping there is peace in the world.

 

 

So thanks for reading, if you want follow me on twitter @JaneyGodley for updates.

 

 

 

 

Thursday, April 11, 2013

Janey Godley’s Podcast Episode 143



(Please be aware that this Podcast Contains strong language)


In episode 143 of Janey Godley's Podcast the Mother and daughter comedy duo bring you a short burst of hilarity from their trip to London, they discuss the death of Margaret Thatcher, Ashley's recent one direction education, mine craft and the Osmond's.


They recount some tales from London as they rush to finish as they head out for a night in Soho, the pair tell of an angry goldfish, a possible Brian May sighting and the best egg Ashley's ever eaten.


Mother and Daughter comedy team get to natter and the world gets to hear it on Janey Godley’s podcasts, expect some bawdy language and home truths, as Janey Godley and Ashley Storrie lead you down the roads less taken in their fantastic weekly podcast. Listen as mother and daughter banter, bait and burst with laughter. 


Janey Godley Podcast at: Episode 143


If you would like to support our podcast then please do so by clicking onto Our Donate Page and donate via PayPal or like us on Facebook


 

Click Here To see the art of Hannah Stone 


Get your copy of Molly Wobbly’s Tit factory, live cast recording: Here.




You can check out all our videos on: YouTube


Order “Handstands in the Dark” Paper Back or in EBook


Please rate us or leave a comment on: PodOmatic, ITunes
 

You can find all the info regarding Janey’s live shows by just clicking Gigs!
 

We hope you enjoy our Podcasts it would be great if you would pass it on, thanks Janey Godley & Ashley Storrie.

Friday, March 15, 2013

You are either out or you are in

I was in a supermarket in London last month.

 

I watched three young children, around five or six years old, sliding up and down the store squealing and pulling stuff off the shelves. They were like chattering, screaming meerkats on a hunt through the Kalahari Desert.

 

I looked for the parents and spotted three women chatting to two men. Every now and then, the kids would huddle round them and then bound off screaming again. The parents were pushing those extremely expensive three wheeled prams and feeding organic seaweed sheets to a baby who was spitting it all back out. One child had one of those wooden bikes with no pedals, let's be honest pedalling is SOoooo last year.

 

That wee munchkin was crashing into giant displays of organic cereal. One child ran up and kicked it's mum right on the shin, she merely rubbed her leg and limped off.

 

It made me recall childhood shopping trips with my mammy in Shettleston. She would frequent the King-Co shop, the nearest thing we got to a supermarket in Glasgow’s East End. It contained about seven aisles of food, a few shelves containing bleach, carbolic soap and some household goods, with maybe four till points. There was a cold meat counter and usually two women in men's socks wearing slippers, pushing a steamie pram full of washing tied in a tight bundle.

 

Before we entered the glass doors, my mammy would grab me by the neck of my damp duffel coat and read me the riot act: “If you touch anything, I will stamp on your neck”

 

I would walk the cool aisles of that store, scared to even look at stuff. If my mammy caught me making eye contact with the ice-cream freezer, she would hiss: “Don’t even think about it!” The rest of the shopping trip would be spent with me staring at the ground.

 

Then we would waddle down the road, struggling with our shopping, a string vegetable bag full of papery onions scratching my legs and plastic bags full of cans cracking my knees. Once we got home, she would take the bags off me.

 

“Go out and play!” she would yell. “Take your skate with you!”

 

Rain or shine, we all went out to play, even if it was with just one broken roller-skate tied to the ankle with a discarded brown nylon our mammy could no longer wear. That was how I spent my long summer holidays. You weren't allowed back in for ages or your mammy would shout "you are either out or you are in bastard face" It was illegal back in the 60s to open and shut a door too many times (obviously a joke).

 

I know I must be getting older, now that I start to tut at other mothers’ parenting skills.

 

Today’s kids even answer their mammy back! I don’t know anyone who was born in the 1960s who would have dared to mouth off at their mammy. We didn't come from mothers who tolerated a kick to their shins. I would still be in a coma ward to this day if I had.

 

I know better than most people that the old days weren’t as good as we think. I know there was a lot of poverty, abuse, robbery and murder, but I still believe that kids didn’t dare disrespect their parents the way they do in today’s society.

 

Then again, in our day we didn’t have shedloads of TV shows that explained how to make your child behave. We had The Golden Shot and The Avengers: two things my mammy was already good at. She could fire a sling-back shoe like a warrior and – trust me – she could avenge like no one I knew.

 

Ah …the good old days.

 


So thanks for reading, if you want follow me on twitter @JaneyGodley for updates.

Monday, February 18, 2013

First Class Godley

I love the train, it gets busy at half term time, like it did when I came home from London recently. I got my ticket ready, this time it was easy to find.

The new system is you get to print out your own ticket which is an A4 sheet with a scan code on it, much better than 58 wee orange tickets we normally get, so am happy about this. Anyway, I got into the first class carriage and sat at a four to a table seat and promptly stuck my case underneath, as I have short legs and it means I can raise my legs up and nap. If the train is busy and people need to sit with me, I move it. Am not a twat.

So, a big posh man, with elbow patches and mustard cords (what the fuck is that about?) kicked my case and asked me to move it so he could join me.

"listen there are heap of seats in the next carriage, it's all unreserved, if you don't mind, we won't have to share" I explained and pointed to the next first class carriage which was indeed empty. I didn't want to sit beside someone in a near empty carriage, there were plenty seats around me and next door.

"This is actually first class, are you meant to be here" he sneered and kicked my case again. Yes, he actually asked me that.

I looked at him, smiled and said "No, I have skipped in, please don't tell anyone, but I get free food and wifi and I take all the sandwiches home"

He looked horrified, pressed the door button and walked into the next carriage.

Seconds later, before the train had even moved, the ticket guy train manager came through shouting "Tickets and passes please?" looking at me with mustard cords behind him, pointing and twitching and waiting to see me get ejected. Who does that?


"Do I really need to get my ticket out?" I pleaded...I could see mustard cords stand still behind the ticket guy staring at me, still smirking. So I pulled out my first class A4 self printed ticket and presented this to the guard, who smiled thanked me and moved on.

Of course I had a first class ticket! Mustard cords was raging angry he sputtered "You said you didn't have a first class ticket, you are a filthy liar" he hissed at me, his face was red and angry and I could see a purple vein pulse on his temple.

At that the train manager stopped.... and watched our exchange.

"I can say anything the fuck I want to you, you are a member of the public and have no right to ask me questions, so shut it Cunty Mc Wunty! I have to be honest with him (I pointed to the train manager), you are an insulting dick, I can say whatever I want to you now move on mustard cords, you are ruining my first class experience" I plugged in my IPod and let Bob Seger take me away to his Hollywood Nights.

Mustard cords stood his ground, staring at me, hands on plump hips, the ticket man had moved off and I mouthed to mustard cords "I photocopied this ticket" and giggled.

He was about to explode when the catering guy appeared , I unplugged my ears, he poured me a coffee and said "Hiya Janey, how you- fancy a bacon sandwich?"  I know most of the catering crew on trains by the sheer amount of travel that I do, I smiled and said "yes".

Mustard cords tried to beat a hasty retreat, this is difficult with doors that you need to press and wait to open, he could hear me laughing as the door whooshed closed behind him.

That awful repugnant wee prick of a man got off at Preston and as the train pulled away I smiled and waved. He sneered and spat at the window...coz he thinks he is upper class and that's how that works sometimes.

Not all anti social behaviour is from working class commoners with track suits tucked into their socks, swigging beer and being obnoxious in public, sometimes it comes from people who regardless of their assumed standing in public....and they can be utter bastards.


So thanks for reading, if you want follow me on twitter @JaneyGodley for updates.

Tuesday, January 15, 2013

On a plane


You know how you think back to things and with hindsight you wonder why you didn't react differently? Looking back I should have punched the man in the tweed suit.....here's what happened.

 

Back in 1996 I was flying to London to see my pals and do some open spot comedy gigs. I was super excited and chatty and couldn't wait to get there, it wasn't often I got such freedom and the thought of being in London filled me with a rush of excitement. I was giddy.

 

I sat beside a middle aged old fashioned looking man possibly in his late 50s but he was dressed the way I think men in 1960s British movies dressed. You know all tweed, brogues and rainmac over the arm, he had everything except a hat but was Scottish. We got chatting and he explained he flew to London for business, I never said what I was doing, just 'going to see friends' and we were engaged in a good old natter.

 

"I am down every month, my friends and I go to Soho, we visit a woman's flat, it's near an ice cream cafe which does a good coffee as well....and we see a woman, she isn't like a prostitute but a woman who likes a drink and we bring her some good vodka and she would 'see' to us fella's who like a good time" he told me with a twinkle in his eye. He added "do you like to party, my friends would like you?"

 

I don't wear wedding rings and don't start conversations with 'my husband and I" as I am not a member of the Royal Household nor am I living in 1953. So as this chat had progressed it dawned on me he assumed I was single and was going to London for some high jinkery or partying of some sort...am not sure. Maybe he thought there was a time portal at arrivals and this was 1960 and I had a pad and needed a 'man to help pay the rent'....I don't know!

 

I faced him squarely on the seat and looked right into his eyes and said "No I don't drink and don't fancy fucking strange men in wool suits in some Soho bedsit, in fact that sounds a rapey nightmare to me" I smiled and fiddled with my Sony Walkman.

 

"Oh no don't get me wrong, we would make sure you had fun" he touched my arms reassuringly.

 

Me being me, so blasé about prostitution (who should judge?) and creepy old men hitting on me on aeroplanes, I laughed and said "no, you probably won't make sure I had fun, I have a 34 year old husband at home and his skin still fits him, why would I want to screw some old dirty toffs for vodka, mate I owned a pub for 15 years, I don't even drink, I don't want to fuck you, but can you tell me where the good ice cream shop is?"

 

We sat in silence for the rest of the journey and I wondered about the woman in the flat above the cafe who lets middle class men fuck her for vodka...that made me feel sad.

 

Years now I have been visiting Soho, it's my favourite place on the planet. I have performed there, I have done live TV news from there, I did my one woman play there...I adore the place, the bricks, the cobbled streets, the paparazzi on motorbikes chasing people with flash cameras and the screaming girls when they spot a pop star. I love the Ramen cafe, the bars, the Groucho Club; the belligerent Italians who serve you bitter coffee in tiny cups....

 

Yet still every old cafe I see I stare above it and search the windows and look for the poor woman behind the dirty windows....and wonder if she is ok now.

 

So thanks for reading, if you want follow me on twitter @JaneyGodley for updates.

 

 

 

Thursday, October 25, 2012

Janey Godley’s Podcast Episode 119



(Please be aware that this Podcast Contains strong language)

 

In episode 119 of Janey Godley’s Podcast, Ashley is joined by Ste Callaghan yet again. The pair discuss, Jimmy Savile , 30 rock, women in comedy and dating

Janey joins with a piece from Toronto, talking about her experience in the Canadian London, Donald Trump’s “Obama” announcement and her wariness of black squirrels.

 

Mother and Daughter comedy team get to natter and the world gets to hear it on Janey Godley’s podcasts, expect some bawdy language and home truths, as Janey Godley and Ashley Storrie lead you down the roads less taken in their fantastic weekly podcast. Listen as mother and daughter banter, bait and burst with laughter.

 

Janey Godley Podcast at: Episode 119

 

If you would like to support our podcast then please do so by clicking onto Our Donate Page and donate via PayPal.

 

Check out some fashion tips from Fetuccini Spencer

 


 

You can check out all our videos on YouTube

 

Order “Handstands in the Dark” Paper Back or in EBook

 

Please rate us or leave a comment on PodOmatic, ITunes or Facebook

 

You can find all the info regarding Janey’s live shows by just clicking Gigs!

 

I hope you enjoy our Podcasts it would be great if you would pass it on, thanks Janey Godley & Ashley Storrie.