Thursday, July 12, 2012

Tim & Freya the full story & Conclusion!

This entire story happened and was tweeted live by me Janey Godley from a Virgin train from Glasgow to London.
Follow me on Twitter @janeygodley

Ø Couple on train before it’s even moved have fallen out over "her inability to accept the truth" this will be fun. @VirginTrains.

Ø She just told him" I can accept the truth you are incapable of speaking it NOW WHO the FUCK is TIA and why did she email you.

Ø The train hasn't even MOVED yet.

Ø He said "Tia isn’t working with us anymore she lives in Rome now" she said "lucky fucking her is she a nun then?" and slammed her bag down.

Ø He hissed" shut up Freya, we never had anything going on it was when we were staying in Bognor remember?" she says "yes Bognor".

Ø Freya says "you were impotent in Bognor or were you just exhausted fucking Tia". 

Ø He (Tim) is staring at floor Freya is eating a sandwich in a furious chompy manner as if it was his limp cock ( am guessing). 

Ø Freya is on her text and Tim is pretending to ignore her. Tim-"who are you sending that piece of shit to?" "ur mum" she said. 

Ø @VirginTrains brill am tweeting an argument between Freya and Tim sitting near me. 

Ø Tim just rubbed his eye "stop grooming me Freya" he said. She stared and said "did Tia 'groom' you? (She did rabbit fingers). 

Ø Tim has gone to loo Freya just called 'Lisa" on mobile "I hate him Lisa he never explains his emails or texts that I find" .

Ø Freya is off the phone. 

Ø I think Freya is a psychotic bitch Tim might have jumped from the train.

Ø Tim is back. 

Ø "Now tell me everything about Tia" she hisses and Tim is staring at her I think he is scared. 

Ø She just PLUCKED out one of his eyebrows out in the middle of a conversation with her fingers! 

Ø Tim tried to hold her hand but Freya just grabbed his face and snogged him. 

Ø Train is moving fine now Freya is gripping Tim’s hand imploringly. 

Ø "I love you Tim” says Freya.

Ø Tim says "I was close to Tia back in 99 before we met" fucking NO TIM don't tell her! Freya is smiling encouraging him to tell. 

Ø "Tia and I flat shared in Manchester in late 90s was wild times" Tim smiled wistful. 

Ø Freya is actually gnashing her jaw how can Tim not see this? "Wild how?" she asks. 

Ø "I told you I was in a band at Uni back in late 90s" Tim pleads. Freya snorts “was it Oasis?" and laughs really loudly at Tim.

Ø Tim stupidly explains "we did a few festivals together when I was in the band" Freya laughs “what BAND? You were in a band?" 

Ø Tim has got up and walked off Freya is on phone to her pal Lisa “did you know this wanker was in a band? Me neither". 

Ø Oh my god Freya doesn't know this poor bastard was in a band - what band?

Ø "Lisa am getting the morning after pill I have six hours left to make sure am not pregnant to this loser" said Freya. 

Ø Tim is back he is looking at me suspiciously hope he can't see me tweeting.

Ø Tim "Freya I never loved Tia - it was 98 last time I saw her, she emailed to say she is in Rome living please stop fighting”. 

Ø Tim "I love you Freya" FUCK don't love her Tim she hates you!

Ø Tim is back to staring at floor Freya is smiling.

Ø "Am pregnant” Freya just said to Tim. Oh My FUCKING god she isn't she is going to take morning after pill DO I STEP in? 

Ø Tunnel.

Ø "Are you sure?" he is asking. She is glaring at him " of course am sure am a woman are u calling me a liar?"

      Ø Meanwhile am shaking my head at him mouthing the word LIAR.

Ø He isn't looking at me I must not get involved.

Ø Freya just said "well I might not be pregnant but am thinking of not taking the morning after pill which is same thing".

Ø There is another watcher to this story just spotted a man watching me watching them he has raised an eyebrow at me.

Ø Tim "that's not the same as being pregnant for fucking hells sake Freya take the pill I don't want this anymore" people staring.

Ø Freya just said “I love you don't leave me what about Debra?" 

Ø Who the fuck is Debra? 

Ø Tim has turned away from me and said "Debra will be fine don't pretend you loved her as well?"  I want to ask who Debra is.

Ø Freya "Debra needs grooming" please oh fuck please let Debra be a horse and not a child.

Ø "Am not paying to keep her anymore Tim if you leave me" Freya says  an guessing Debra is s horse.

Ø He says "am riding Debra this week" phew Debra is a horse/ pony/ thing.

Ø "Look can we stop talking about your fucking horse and explain why u r leaving me?" says Freya. 

Ø Tim "you pretended to be pregnant Freya".

Ø "I didn't pretend I said I might be you always make me the liar Tim" says Freya "I wish I recorded what u said” says Tim. 

Ø I wish Debra was another woman he is riding and I wish I could tell Tim I have recorded what Freya said.

Ø Tim stormed off Freya is crying into phone "Lisa he is being horrible and I think am pregnant if i don't take morning after".

Ø She is tall slim blonde English with big Smokey eye makeup he is rugged tall and dark English posh.

Ø Tim is back with four cans of beer and has SAT AT ANOTHER TABLE. 

Ø Personally I don't think she is pregnant and is lying but am just a watcher.

Ø Freya has got up and sat beside Tim trying to hug him.

Ø He is wearing dark suit jacket blue shirt she is wearing fawn coat and big boots. 

Ø Tim is ignoring Freya's attempts to reconcile half way down the train a toddler fell and there is baby screams.

Ø The baby screams very well timed Tim is talking to 'RUPPY' his pal.. Oh My GOD Tim just got up and ran off train at Carlisle.

Ø Train is moving off now and Freya is just banging on window ! Even I didn't expect that! Fuck TIM is OFF.

Ø Ladies and gentlemen Tim is off at Carlisle and waving.

Ø Tim is off the train

Ø Freya is sitting pretending she didn't care Tim is off and is moving cans to the side she is calling Lisa on phone.

Ø @JaneyGodley: Ladies and gentlemen Tim is off at Carlisle and waving.

Ø Freya to Lisa "He just got off train at Carlisle… Yes he took his bag and ran off. Am taking the pill now he is such a wimp".

Ø Freya has moved seats left the beer and applying make up and rustling a bag with BOots chemist logo e.

Ø She is taking the pill (thank god) and is now talking on her phone.

Ø "He was good at going down" WTF ? Who is she speaking to?

Ø "We didn't really make a go of it he prefers horses and was in Iraq for most of the year?" she is saying.

Ø Am guessing Tim was in army? Why else would you go to Iraq?

Ø TIM has called her PEOPLE TIM is on the phone.

Ø "Fuck you Tim" Freya is shouting "am getting off next stop Marcus is coming to get me".

Ø Tim hung up by the sounds of it and now Freya is sitting staring out of the window.

Ø I hope Tim and his horse go to Rome and find Tia.

Ø Freya calling Lisa "by the way Stella McCartney is really ugly close up & a bit fat, I hate her stuff”. 

Ø Freya to Lisa" yeah he is off the train fuck him Marcus is going to meet me at Next stop".

Ø Freya is staring at me.

Ø Am dying to ask if she is ok to get who Marcus is.

Ø Lisa has called TIM.

Ø "I don't give a fuck Tim" she is shouting.

Ø "Take your horse and stick it up your arse for all I care and I hope you find a woman who doesn't mind your shit cock".

Ø "go back to Iraq with your mates or whatever they are called ...well ..That then ...regiment ...whatever, I don't care".

Ø "Am not pregnant who said I was pregnant? Don't you dare slag Lisa" Freya on phone to Tim.

Ø "I am meeting Marcus at ..." puts hand over phone asks me " what is next station?" me- "Oxenhome" her "what?" 

Ø Freya to Tim on phone "am meeting Marcus at Oxenhome if you must know l". 

     Ø Freya is crying now.

Ø I gave went over ... Am in ... Am offering a hankie.

Ø She stared at me funny am back in my seat am out again.

Ø She is pretending to sleep.

Ø Freya is up shed us getting her bag together I think she is getting off at Oxenholme.

Ø Oh she is back on the phone "am sorry Tim am sorry please meet me at Oxenholme? I love you".

Ø Freya on phone "please Tim meet me there? I will wait for you there I love you”. 

Ø She is getting off at Oxenholme to meet Tim.

Ø She got off at Oxenholme and is in phone to Tim they are meeting up I think THE END.

      Conclusion- Three Days Later

Ø Sorry if I shed heaps of followers after that drama from Glasgow all done now time for a cuppa for me.

Ø Poor Tim I hope he uses his army training to hide in Carlisle and avoid her. 

Ø Dear lord I GOT an EMAIL to my WEBSITE from TIM or someone claiming to be him!

Ø Am not sure it's him "Tim EMAILED me" have asked for a photo as I know what he looks like.

Ø Tim is confirmed TIM emailed me a photo of him and it's HIM! OMG I asked him what happened at Carlisle.

Ø He said a mate follows me on twitter and he recognised the names and description.

Ø Told me briefly in email he is glad he read the thread as he didn't know Freya said those things - he DIDN'T go to Oxenholme! 

Ø He's going to Cornwall where he lives & has a horse and hopes Freya finds Marcus and leaves him alone - he is a bit embarrassed.

To see the original tweet live line go to the: Storify Site  


  1. Now *that* deserves a comment - even if it is just onw that says:


  2. Thanks for sharing.
    I always knew life is funnier than books :)

  3. OH SHIT!!! That psycho bitch is still in Cumbria then? Shit, I live in cumbria! Think I'll move!

  4. Hiya!

    Just found your blog via this post and this is absolutely hilarious! I cannot believe this actually happened!

    Your blog is hilarious. I am a new follower!

  5. omg. That is brilliant. Poor Tim.

  6. What a gripping story! Poor Tim! I hope he didn't take Freya's advice and stick his horse up his arse either

  7. BRILLIANT! I'm so happy for Tim. That pregnancy thing was low. I hope his shit cock doesn't get blown off in Iraq. (I only say because a lad I went to school with had one of his nads blown off in Afganistan). Who drank the left over beer? I would have if I'd been there. Waste not . . .

  8. Is this real? I'm not sure whether I think this is amazing or.. no, I was right the first time. It's amazing.

  9. Well done Janey...what a wonderful thing you've done there.

    Do you SERIOUSLY have nothing better to be doing with your time than this voyeuristic thrash?

    You're an idiot...

  10. Thank you. It's the best laugh I have had for a long time. I read it out for my husband on a car journey, fortunately, we did not crash.
    I would love to post a link on Facebook. Is that possible?
    Best wishes
    Ulla Jessen

  11. I've jsut joined you after being directed to this blog ... I am a terrible eavesdropper on public transport and love this drama to bits!

  12. Holy crap! Why are my train journeys never this interesting!

  13. The mad cow won't leave him alone, they never do. I too hope he goes to Rome to find Tia - Tim, mate, the only way is up...

  14. I like to imagine that the people were actually saying "am" instead of the tweeter not knowing what the word "I'm" is.

  15. This really needs to be turned into a play or TV/film script. Waiting For Freya, perhaps?

  16. This was freakin' hilarious!

  17. Holy internalized misogyny, Batman. Way to align yourself with the male, there.

    The woman here may have been acting out emotionally, but you have no idea of this couple's history. Her feelings may be entirely justified.

    Even if they aren't, Freya, and all other women, live in a world that systematically deprives them while claiming that they are inferior creatures who deserve such deprivation. Their only hope of escaping its worst effects is to align with some male. Even you are aligning your sympathies with a male right now, because you sense he's the one with the power. He's got a shit-ton of male privilege - he doesn't need you.

    To have conflicting emotions about aligning with a particular male does not make Freya crazy. "Crazy bitch" is a convenient label that dehumanizes and magically invalidates anything a woman says or thinks.

    Stories like yours only reinforce sexist stereotypes. But I'll bet they make most readers feel superior by comparison, and I'll also bet that this was the real purpose of the story - to feed smuggery and to discourage empathy for the lower classes.

    After all, if people started empathizing with marginalized folk, they might join together and pose some kind of threat to an oppressive society. Our corporate masters wouldn't like that at all.