Looking Ahead

So, there I was sitting in the doctors with my dad and waiting for his appointment. He is suffering from some leg pain. It always freaks me out when I see how frail he has become, it makes me think am going to be his age next week. I wanted him to pick me up on his shoulders and run down the street with me, then grab my leg and arm and give me a ‘leg and a wing swing’ with his dark curly hair falling over his Tony Curtis look-a-like face. I need him to pick me up with his strong arms and tell me everything would be ok. But he just sat there in his beige jacket and slip on shoes gripping my hand, looking vulnerable and very old. I looked away from him, trying not to show my pain at seeing him sad.

The doctors has a big panel board with loads of leaflets, I sat and stared at them.

“Are you 50 or over? Do you suffer from a dry vagina?”
“Are 50+ and are you scared of the stairs in case you fall down?”
“Does being over 50 give you bladder and bowel problems?”
“Are you worried about dying?”

So, I am going to be 50 in January and am fully expecting to fall down the stairs and die slowly of a dry vagina as my bowels fall out of my ass.
It seems to me that at 50 years of age, everything starts to fall apart, well if not my assumption, then clearly the NHS assume this. There were no leaflets saying
“Are you 50 or over, do you fancy a sexy party or some vigorous tennis with a younger man?”

Last week I was having late night drinks with McFly- they didn’t warn against that on the NHS worry board!

But now am concerned, I am getting paranoid and worried that I may die soon or quite soon.

Ashley on the other hand is having a good time, we are both off the cigarettes and she has been on her Wii fit and is managing to get super flexible by using the computer fitness regime.

I am loving that we can both now smell how rotten the house is since we stopped smoking and I am happy as hell that I can now taste mozzarella cheese! I never knew it had a taste, I thought it was just a texture.

So, am sorry this blog is late, and do hope you will listen into our podcast every Wednesday - just follow the link on my website www.janeygodley.com