Fringe is over

Yes, am on my way home…four weeks of being tired, excited, scared and happy all in one month. Who knew that could happen? Late night drinks up the Loft Bar on the last Sunday was awesome, Phil Jupitus was the DJ and free champagne and canapés on the menu, but diet coke was a chargeable offense, its either free wine, beer or champers or pay for a soft drink!

I watched a very drunk comic try to relay a story into a famous comics face, it was a bitch about me, I stood there until it was done, drunken comic stared at me, stunned I had heard it all then reached over and hugged me, telling me I am just wonderful! That’s Edinburgh and that’s why I pay for diet coke, one day I will be that drunken person screaming a whisper about other people in front of them into a very annoyed famous mans ear.

Then watched a skinny underdressed bleached blonde with a slash of bright red lipstick, sashay about in a tight mini dress looking for famous male comics to ‘befriend’ I asked her if she was in a show and she blurted out ‘Antigone’ I wont laugh at how she pronounced it….anyway she sidled up to Stephen K Amos and batted her big long lashes and giggled, he stared at her and checked out my flyering boy’s tight jeans round his ass. That’s Edinburgh.

I have had a good Edinburgh this year, though it has been blighted with a feeling that people don’t want to see comedy unless they have seen the person on the telly. Even if the didn’t like them on the telly, just to see them in the flesh and pay the price was worth it. Everyone had an opinion on the McEwan Hall which seats over a thousand people, I too had a gripe about that but ultimately it’s down to the paying public, if they just want to see big shows from the telly then you have to accept their choice.

I watched some friends play to very small houses and as the fringe grows beyond the fringe I fear small interesting shows will just end up not coming back, which will take the very soul out of the fringe. It soon will be just big names in big venues and you know what? That’s what the public in general want, so therefore the venues must supply the demand.

I went to see Tara Flynn’s show which was awesome and funny as hell. I never got to see Joe Powers the man who talks to dead people, coz I couldn’t get my hands on a gun during Edinburgh, I wanted to shoot the fake fuck and see if he could annoy us from beyond the grave. The fake psychic got some damning reviews and some awful comments from fellow comics who can smell a shitty stick from 50 years away.

That said it was a good old time but to be honest am glad to be going home.

Part Two- Am home…

Went to the Pleasance chatted with Anthony who owns the venue, he is a lovely man and we had a good catch up. Doing my last show is always emotional, you get exhausted by the past month, all the worrying, the stresses, the many late night gigs, the ticket checking, the flyering issues, making sure the posters are up, making sure my stars are all over them, then you do that last show and you feel….elated and happy its done.

I put down the microphone, thanked the audience, hugged the techy staff, kissed the security man, patted the dog that sits outside and ran to my car.

Husband was outside the gig with Ashley in the loaded up car, it was crammed with all out stuff; husband moaned “why do you both need all this shit?”

“Shut up, you got me put in jail for one night, I don’t forget what you put me through with your gun totting family” I snapped.

“Are you ever going to let that go, it was 15 years ago moany face” He laughed.

“Mum, Dad shut up, and mum you cant counter every argument with dad with the fact they found guns in his dads house years ago, both of you deal with the argument today, the issue now, not something from decades ago, now, lets all cheer we are leaving Edinburgh, coz I have been coming here since I was eight years old and you BOTH made me do that for years, so now I am harking back to the past coz you are both irritating me, can we leave this fucking city and get me home please” Ashley snapped.
We all laughed, one crazy dysfunctional family in car packed with a guitar (Ashley plays it), clothes, unused giant posters of my face and a case full of dirty underwear heading for the M8 and home to Glasgow.

I adore that my husband who doesn’t particularly enjoy being around comedians or comedy for that matter- truly supports me totally. He has never once said “this isn’t a career choice, you could make more money elsewhere” he has always supported me fully. He never came to Edinburgh as he dislikes new places, he has Aspergers syndrome and new houses make him unsettled, he finds it difficult to deal with incompetent people who cant print a ticket or work a sound system, he cannot stand the sycophantic nature of comedy and because of his syndrome if a comedian asks his opinion he usually says “you weren’t funny, but I like your new jacket” Aspergers people don’t grasp tact very well. But if they say they like you then they really do, that’s what I like about him!

So my first day home was awesome, I slept for hours like a freed hostage victim, I showered like I had been assaulted in an alley and ate like a Alsatian dog that had been locked in a garage for two weeks.

That was the Edinburgh Fringe 2010.