Day Three in LA and all is well

I have the most awesome room with a private loo…things are good. I went out for a walk on day two round the neighbourhood, here in Valley Village and basically there are no pavements or since am in the USA ‘sidewalks’ you are either treading on someone’s manicured lawn or walking on the road. The place is very white picket fence, I imagine there are wives in sticky out skirts making cookies and planning their own suicide in the midday heat. Apparently the ‘Valley’ is the porn making capital of Los Angeles…so who knows what is going on.

I passed a beautiful house and outside they had a yard sale, I have never seen one and decided to dive right in and pick through some nice stuff and believe me the dresses were cute. Just then a young skinny woman in a tight tee shirt and tiny denim skirt came rushing over shouting “What the hell are you doing lady?”

“Er…I thought it was a yard sale?” I said slowly replacing a white dress onto the coat rack.

“This is a film set and those are props, didn’t you see the big van and the lighting crew?” She screeched.

“No, am sorry I didn’t” I sloped off.

So, I presume some white picket porn was taking place and as usual I get in the way of some good sex.

The next day we headed down to Big Boy’s Diner which is a traditional burger joint that has an event every Friday, where classic cars and old fashioned vehicles line up to show off their ‘classic-ness’.

It was amazing, and there were rows and rows of proper old Americana blokes, with fat stomachs, grey pony tails and yard chairs watching people watching their cars.

It seems to be a whole community of folk who turn up to kick wheels, check out old cars and show each other what’s under their bonnets. I have never seen such clean engines, they are all impeccably smart.

One bloke watched me taking some photos and said “You like the cars?”

“Yes, they are pretty amazing eh?” I replied.

“This has been going on since 1958 round here and you know this is the place to pick up guys” he smiled. He was about sixty odd years old with a dyed quiff and a small Chihuahua on a lead.

“Really, this is a hot pick up joint?” I smiled trying to be cool.

“Yeah baby look” he said and with a flourish of his hand he showed me a bunch of really old men in giant denim dungarees with bad hips leaning on walking frames, propped beside cars that were vintage but not as old as them.

“Yeah….but the buffet is hardly fresh is it” I laughed and moved on taking more pictures.

Soon I am going to Venice Beach, my favourite place. It takes almost 2 hours on public transport but I don’t mind as a taxi cab is about $100 from the Valley and that’s just one way! You would think we were miles away from the coast but we aren’t – its just the traffic is so heavy.

Los Angeles has a crap transport system- the problem is there are no dedicated bus lanes to enable the buses through the city. The Metro trains which are awesome and cheap only go downtown (basically half way into the city) they trains don’t go down to the beach or anywhere near the coast. Which means you need to get the bus and it drags slowly through the city behind all the traffic and takes forever.

That’s my fault for not driving is all I can say but why does the city encourage everyone to drive? They don’t make it easy NOT TO!
The other night I went out to see Paul Provenza do his podcast at a small theatre, he is a cracking comic and has a book out called Satiristas! You must check it out. The same night I bumped into my old mate Rick Shapiro, I haven’t seen Rick in ages and he has good news about getting some acting work, in fact its awesome news and I will leave it to him to announce it.

Either way I am enjoying my time and still have adventures to take.