My week so far

“Don’t let the cat lick your eyelashes” my great niece Abi shouted.
There was no danger of me letting her evil cat near my face; it has the temperament of Naomi Campbell on one of her hormonal days.

I have never known such a moody cat in my life. Seriously it goes into attack mode from the far end of the hall when it sees me and it regularly cuddles up to the kids then turns on them. It’s stopped using its nails on them and basically boxes their wee cheeks with its pads…but the intention is still there.

I do love going over to see Abi, Shaun and Julia but Myra Hindley the cat always manages to have a go at me for no reason and I LOVE CATS…yet it still resists my cat luring charms.

I think it’s slightly mental.

Anyway had fun seeing Ann Mags and the kids- their house is always chaotic when I arrive and this visit was no different. Julia was doing tumbles and banging her spine off the coffee table, Shaun was clattering all over the hall with a ball and Abi was dragging the rabbit out of its hutch as Bitey McStabby the cat was being all autistic and hissing at the light bulb. Ann Mags (their mum) was in the kitchen fighting on the phone with the gas people who apparently ‘broke into’ her house when she was out, they changed the meter and left a note to say they had kicked in her door and changed the locks and gave her new keys!

Yes, they can do that for no good reason…I was surprised Hitler the Cat let them in the bloody door. So whilst she was screaming at the gas people about her rights, the kids and all their animals took the opportunity to go crazy when I was trying to calm them down. The rabbit was banging on its cage door, the hamster was doing strange upside down tricks and the doorbell didn’t stop with a stream of visitors for the kids.

I was exhausted just standing there watching it all.

In am off to London this weekend to do a gig at Shepherds Bush Empire and then onto Liverpool to do two shows at Lenny’s comedy gig.

Travelling is my favourite thing but am tired and my hair is going through its abstract period and my skin thinks I am fifteen and has decided to have an acne breakout.
Good news is…I am off to LA in June to catch up with old pals and meetings – I love LA more than I ever imagined I would. So am all giddy with excitement.

I still have to get through all the process of organising my Edinburgh Fringe shows, and perform at Glasgow Comedy festival on 25th March at Tron Theatre in Glasgow (still tickets for sale) and the Soho Theatre in London on April 29th/30th and 1st May.

Life is a wee bit mental but at least I don’t have Peter Sutcliffe the Cat in my hallway waiting to slash me on my way to the loo.