Its 2008

Husband and I spent the New Year bells watching TV and reading quietly. I had just come off stage at Glasgow Jongleurs. I was on Scottish television on their New Year show called ‘From SR to Lavvie Head’ it was all about famous advertisements.

We inadvertently clicked on and I saw my big fat face staring back at me and he quickly changed channels!

So we spent New Year watching Star Trek Voyager instead.

Ashley went out partying as all 21 year old should do.

I fell asleep and her dad waited up for her. She came home at 5am all giggly and drunk.

This morning I went into her bedroom and she wasn’t there, the bedroom did look as if it had been burgled, but that’s normal for Ashley’s room.
She has her own bathroom; it has no windows and is very cool and quiet, so I tried to check in there for her.

The door stuck and I realised she must be on the floor behind it, I didn’t panic as she often goes in there for a sleep on the floor if she feels ill. So I knew she must have been sick or hung-over.

Ashley has often slept on her bathroom floor since childhood.

She seems to feel happy in there with her head jammed between the toilet pan and the bath!

The door creaked open and one wee white hand reached out! It was like a scene from a hostage rescue.

“Are you ok baby?” I whispered to the dark crack in the door.

“Yes, I have vomited up a steak pie and bits choked me mum” she huskily answered.

She sat up and pulled the door open to let me in.

There was her Flintstones duvet and pillow all crumpled on the toilet floor, she looked like one of those poor illegal immigrants who hide in a box to get to freedom.

Her make up was streaked all down her face and her hair was tied up for vomiting purposes in a big bunch on the top of her head.

So I took a photo of her on my phone as it was too good an opportunity to miss and will be a great blackmail tool for future!

Vodka and champagne may not pass her lips for yet another year!