I am now 46 years old as of yesterday. This means a host of things.
1- My womb will slowly fall apart and hormones will start to flood my system till I kill an owl or shag a teenage boy.
2- I will start to wear jumpers with shiny sequins and appliqué butterflies.
3- I may buy a small fluffy dog and call it my ‘baby’.
4- My hair will get cut into a manageable bob so that when I take up hill walking it won’t get bothersome.
5- I will start collecting miniature ballerina’s made of porcelain and attend conventions where other old women talk about porcelain.
6- Water colour painting classes will fill my days and I will start visiting small towns to capture the features of the charming cobble stoned streets.
7- I will stop dyeing my grey hair and embrace my age, I will stop wearing a bra and let my moustache grow into a full on Magnum job!
So that’s what I have to look forward to.
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