The Rush is over

The Rush is over…
Thank God we all ‘survived’ Christmas…I was sick of reading articles in magazines shouting’ How to Survive Christmas’ as if it was some ordeal, well in some countries it is, but that’s not really what the article was aiming at. It was writing some crud on how to prepare a mammoth eating feast, how to buy a glittery black dress, how to set a table and yadda yadda other stuff about other shit.

We bought ‘ready to eat food’ and some cold drinks and sat, ate dinner and watched TV in between working on stage and my daughter doing DJ work (she is working as a DJ whilst studying, she reckons pressing a button every three minutes is infinitely easier than serving cooked greasy chips at £4 an hour).
I had a fun morning, AGAIN a radio show BBC Radio 5 live called me early to see if I would take part in a call in show about ‘Scot’s who live abroad and Scot’s who wont leave Scotland’.
I said ‘yes’ then fell back asleep, then an hour later the call came and I was groggy and talked for ages on stuff I wasn’t sure about until the host of the show asked me live on air ‘Janey sell me Scotland in ten seconds’.

I took a deep breath, tried to clear my dreamy head (that incidentally was still having sex with Cachi from happy Days) and said really loudly
‘We have water, good food, we don’t deep fry mars bars, we have lovely scenery, we love people and we like to chat and we have water’
When I had finished I could hear my husband laughing in the other room, he was listening live to the show on the radio.

The host said ‘We have water? Janey we have water in England as well’
My brain kicked in and I realised I just said the shit about water and I then I explained ‘We have clean good water’ and then he said goodbye live on air.

I switched off the phone and fell back asleep and went onto to dream about a crazy jaggy nailed cat that was stuck fast to the back of my thighs and no amount of pulling could get it off my flesh, then I had was kissing Boutros Boutros Galle as we both tried to remove the blood sucking evil flesh scratching cat. That’s my life, all pussy and no fun.