25 years of Wedding bliss…

Ok that sound ominous, and yes it is. We had decided to both go to the Lake District for a few days and due to a few family problems (me) we didn’t go. So I am spending –sorry we are spending our anniversary here at home.

It was a tense week, to start with husband mistakenly deleted some of my important emails whilst he was trying to move emails into our laptop. I screamed and threatened to kill him by slowly poking a needle into the eye of his cock and he got upset at that.
So we have done nothing but argue, not a good start to our ‘celebratory week’.

I woke up this morning and as I cleaned the house in a bad mood due to the fact I got NO cards or even a phone call to congratulate us on our silver wedding, I ended up crying as I slammed the hoover into the skirting boards. I need to reassert my issues!

The post man arrived and there on the floor was a lovely card from my pal Anne Cherry in Newcastle (she was my oldest school friend and it’s her half of face that is on the cover of my autobiography!).
So I cheered up.

The other thing that made me laugh was someone (a nutter) had left a message on my guest book waiting to be authorised (no one can leave a message, I have to OK it). Anyway someone had left a message saying that they were in fact my dead cousin Sammy and wrote a message from my ‘dead cousin Sammy’ saying that he loves heroin, now maybe that would upset some people but fuck how it made me laugh.

Firstly it was spelt very badly- Sammy despite being dead would never use incorrect grammar! I laughed so much at this attempt to be malicious that I giggled the rest of the day.

So I had a fun day, I shouted, cried and even got a very dyslexic message from my dead cousin…which was more than I got from close friends and family on my anniversary!