me a mother?

Sunday, April 10th 2005
20:36 Me a Mother?

Being a mum is good fun, but my 18 year old ( soon to be 19) has decided that I have to behave myself more. There is an article in a Sunday magazine about mothers who embarrass their kids, like how Sadie Frost snogs young guys in the street and her tits keep falling out of top and how her ‘husband swap antics’ got into the newspaper.

All of this has outraged her 14 year old son Fin.

To be honest if I had known wife-swapping could have meant I had a chance to shag Jude Law then I would have taken part no problem, I may even have got a toaster for my husband if not the sexy Jude boy, (upper classes shagging each other? See Charles and Camilla theory on Saturdays blog!)

Anyway Ashley has told me to stop flirting with the sexy Kiwi guy as I am way too old to have such fun. I was not flirting I was genuinely interested in his views on NZ.

Apparently according to Pleshette Murphy (who is an expert on Motherhood) ‘young girls are asserting their own sexuality at 18 and the last thing they need is to imagine their mothers are doing the same thing’ and that ‘Young girls should not have to compete with their mothers’.

Good advice but there is no way I am competing with my daughter, she is tall and lovely, I am small and fat. No competition! She wins.

I am not good at flirting; I go all red and odd if I think I fancy someone.

I recall doing a gig in Wimbledon, the room was full of well fit tasty guys and I flirted all the way through my set with a cute guy standing up the back. It was good on stage to be able to have that fun, and to be that outrageously sexy with him but when the gig was over I stepped out of the light and blushed and giggled with Monica.

Then that bitch Monica went over and brought my ‘victim’ over and introduced him to me, he smiled and was full of sexual confidence and I turned into a big lumpy block of wood and stumbled over a bag whilst trying to shake his hand! I could hardly speak and just ran out of the venue. Luckily my tits stayed inside my top.

Me? Badly behaved? I think not!